EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

Betoota Heights father John Mathieson [48] has today taken angrily to Facebook to write a very long, heavily typoed post about the ‘destruction of morals’, after catching wind of English musician Sam Smith’s new music video ‘I’m Not Here To Make Friends’. 

Released three days ago, the two screen grabs of the music video have been seen making the rounds on news sites and social media have given conservatives the biggest chub they’ve had since Lil Nas X’s ‘Call Me By Your Name’ came out, and fueling the paranoia that queer people are somehow out to poison the minds of children.

It’s alleged John was seen browsing Daily Mail for something to get angry about, when he came across the image of Sam Smith wearing nipple pasties, which sent him into a delirious rage.

“Absolute DEGENERATE, why do they all need to shove it in our faces?”, says the bloke who used to rewind back the jackhammer scene in Benny Benassi’s ‘Satisfaction’, “is this what is seen as empowering these days?”

Despite both female and male artists having used women’s bodies as props in their music videos for decades, and countless songs that refer to women as ‘bitches’, ‘sluts’ and whores’, it appears the line can be drawn when the bodies being sexualised aren’t catering to a straight bloke’s desires.

Which may have added to John’s shame, seeing as some of the bloke’s in the music video had really, really nice butts.

“UTTER FILTH.”

“IT NEEDS AN AGE RESTRICTION.”

More to come.

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