Self-proclaimed “man of simplicity” Atticus Wilson (26) , continues to use his raggy bathroom towel as his go-to beach towel. This shocking discovery has reignited concerns that Atticus remains light-years away from being considered husband material by the fairer sex.

The issue came to light when Atticus’ friends noticed his blue beach towel had toothpaste stains on it.

“When I pointed them out to him it was almost as if he thought it was completely normal, I asked him what he does when he get’s home and he just told me it goes right back to the bathroom.” Said Daniel Smith (25) a friend of Atticus.

Although even his own friends see a problem with Atticus’s towel choices, he defends the decision.

“Look I’m a man of simplicity, who cares if a bit of sand makes it back to my bathroom, it’s really not a big deal.”

Despite Atticus’s confidence with his decision, many experts say that his poor beach towel etiquette is a clear sign that he is far away from having his life in order.

“Look, if you only have one towel and it’s the same towel you use for the beach, the shower and even a kitchen spill, then there is no way you can say you are ready for a serious relationship.” said one life coach, Samantha Bryne (39).

Despite the community’s desperate attempts to nudge Atticus towards more acceptable beachside behaviour, it appears that he remains content with his unconventional approach to coastal living. 

“I don’t see what all the fuss is about,” Atticus shrugged.

“If she can’t handle me with my bathroom towel, she doesn’t deserve me at my best, you know?”


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