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UNCLE TANE: In a similar fashion to some of his closer Coalition allies, Uncle Tony X has today declared that he has found love with a younger woman, who he met through his work in politics.

The Special Envoy to Indigenous Affairs has today returned from this year’s 2018 Koori Knock rocking a Mate Ma’a Tonga jersey and the twin braids, after falling madly in love with a Islander girl who had some cousins playing for Griffith.

The Member For Warringah says he hopes the new missus is welcomed by his family and Liberal Party colleagues, and says his new partner Tahi has given him a new lease on life after a whirlwind fortnight that has seen the Member for Warringah enter the NSW prison system and convert to Islam, since he gave a conditional yes to taking on the job of the Federal Government’s Indigenous envoy.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison did not ask Uncle Tony to be a minister in his new Government, but instead asked him to take on the role of envoy, citing his close association with Aboriginal Australia after growing up in a six bedroom mansion in Sydney’s Northern Beaches and working for the Liberal Party for nearly three decades.

However, it appears that Uncle Tony has decided to embrace the new non-cabinet pity role, after his warm reception at Dubbo over the weekend – and says he looks forward to learning more about not only his new designated community that is the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander population of Australia, but also Tahi and her family.

“I’m loved up, true god” says a bashful Uncle Tony.

“She might be the one dox [laughter]”

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