LOWEST LOWS: In a last ditch effort to remind Australians just how badly our national security is being managed under a Morrison Government, the Liberal Party have today sent out millions of text messages to marginal seats informing voters that a boat full of brown people has been intercepted in the ocean somewhere.

This comes after Border Force confirms that “a vessel has been intercepted in a likely attempt to illegally enter Australia from Sri Lanka” – something that probably happens quite a lot, but only makes national news on election day when the government is worried about being voted out.

A Liberal spokesman confirmed the party had sent the text, adding “as Australians go to vote today it is important that they are informed about the choice that is before them”.

“The Australian government’s policy remains unchanged,” it said in a statement. “We will intercept any vessel seeking to reach Australia illegally and to safely return those on board to their point of departure or country of origin.”

Morrison confirmed the interception after voting at Lilli Pilli public school at midday on Saturday.

“I can simply say this. I’ve been here to stop this boat but in order for me to be there to stop those that may come from here, you need to vote Liberal and Nationals today.

Morrison was repeatedly challenged that he had commented on an “on-water” matter, something he refused to do as immigration minister, but declined to answer interjections.

At a separate press conference the home affairs minister, Karen Andrews, said there were two boats, one intercepted by the Sri Lankan navy with 40 people detained and the second intercepted by the ABF “near Christmas Island”.

“Those ventures indicate very clearly what risk a Labor government poses … to our borders,” she told reporters. “This is not scaremongering, this is the reality.”

After a lengthy and highly frustrating election campaign, Australian voters can only sigh at how sad and desperate this has all gotten.

However, the dogwhistling Australian media are struggling to hide their erections that have arisen after both Peter Dutton and Morrison begin pressing racist hot buttons in the final moments of this campaign.


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