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THE NORTHERN BLOWTORCH: The Queensland Premier has today run the ball up the middle and launched a brutal attack on the Prime Minister and his severe incompetence over the past few months.

Palaszczuk has made it clear that Morrison’s announcement declaring the AZ jab open to under 40s was NOT discussed in the ‘National Cabinet’ meeting, implying it was something he’d said off-the-cuff in his latest marketing ploy.

With three new cases overnight, and majority of the Queensland population back in lockdown, the Premier was not here to fuck spiders as she continued to fire shots at Canberra about the bungled jab roll-out.

“Fuck you and fuck your bullshit National Cabinet. Give us some more fucken jabs” she said.

“And for anyone who has the hide to say I’m being unhelpful right now. It’s worth mentioning that this so called National Cabinet that Scotty keep making us zoom in for is not recognised by the constitution. It is a fictional concept created in a marketing focus group with the aim of shifting blame onto Premiers”

“I’m the first to crack the shits, but I daresay Gladys will be next”

“We’ve asked for more vaccines, and he’s rejected our request because the useless prick hasn’t ordered enough. Instead he’s gone against the advice of all the health bodies and said that young people can get that jab that he warned them against taking just two months ago. And now he’s trying to hand over to the private sector”

“I’ll say it again Scotty. Fuck you and fuck your National Cabinet”

It was a united front by Palaszczuk, her Deputy and and the Queensland Chief Health Office – as the Premier took a blowtorch to the Murdoch media narrative that that Morrison was delivering in his role as the leader of this country.

The state has recorded three new Covid-19 cases overnight, including the brother of an unvaccinated Queensland hospital worker.

Genomic sequencing has linked the 19-year-old worker in Brisbane back to a returned traveller who had left the country to visit Indonesia repeatedly because they must know someone important in Canberra, according to Mr Miles.

“These aren’t stranded Aussies. These are people more important than us. Friends of Scott”

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