Prime Minister Scott Morrison has come out of hiding today to finally address that news story he’s been hiding from all week.

During a live cross with some journalist that he knows won’t ask him any tough questions about his leadership flaws, Morrison was given plenty of opportunity to pat himself on the back over his bungled negotiations with the Tech Giants this week – a fuck up that could easily result in thousands of people losing their jobs right across the country.

The PM was also flattered for several minutes on his success in securing 150,000 vaccines that will be rolled out as of Monday, in case some one wants to vaccinate Toowoomba.

However, as the journalist clinged to the remnants of his university dream of holding power to account – Morrison was gently lead to the topic of the recently unearthed alleged sexual assault that took place in one of his minister’s offices.

Morrison, who has already vowed to ‘look at’ the processes surrounding how his government is able to do nothing about one of their employees getting raped in the workplace – was quick to micromanage the culture review to the states.

“Sexual assault in the Parliament House offices of Federal Ministers has always been an issue for the states” he said.

“I want transparency and cooperation from our Premiers, and I’ll tell them that myself”

When asked why an incident that took place in a Federal building should have anything to do with the Premiers, Morrison said he’s not here to play tit for tat.

“I’ll say it again, this is always something that the states run point on”

“Especially the Labor Premiers”

“I can’t be any clearer on that”



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