CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

As the Great Resignation continues throughout the ranks of the Federal Liberal Party, markets are currently open for who will be the next member of the Morrison government to throw in the towel.

But one thing is for certain, the loss of Health Minister Greg Hunt and Former Attorney-General Christian Porter has a lot of other MPs exploring options outside politics.

Yesterday afternoon, Education Minister Alan Tudge became the third high-profile ally of Scotty From Marketing to stand down from the Federal Cabinet, albeit against his own will.

The PM told parliament that Education Minister Alan Tudge has stood aside from the ministry after a former Liberal staffer made fresh claims against him, alleging she was in an emotionally, and on one occasion, physically abused by him. 

Tudge is also the third high-ranking Liberal figure to be met with allegations of violence against women this year, with one silver-spoon-fed little staffer even accused of assaulting a colleague in a cabinet Minister’s office.

The Morrison Government’s internal collapse is starting to look like the final montage in a mafia movie, with footage of old men being either arrested or buried one by one, while ‘Layla’ by Derek and the Dominoes blasts in the background.

However, as the Liberal Party’s brain-drain of middle aged white men who might be able to hold a job in the real world continues, one of the last MPs holding on with both hands is Treasurer Josh Frydenberg.

Unfortunately for the Prime Minister, the Member For Kooyong’s white-knuckled loyalty to the Pentecostal Reaganist regime was truly tested today.

Walking through his home electorate on his first day of Christmas holidays, the butterscotch yellow logo of one of Melbourne’s most esteemed real estate agencies caught his eye.

Ray White Hawthorn are hiring, and they are looking for a mediocre late gen-X suit who knows how to bend the truth and secure the risk-free assets of Australia’s most privileged baby boomers and foreign investors.

“Fuck” whispers Josh, as he briefly envisions himself living outside the scrutiny of the Australian media, and making twice as much money by doing nothing but opening doors for the rest of his life.

He snaps out of it.

“No.” he scowls to himself.

“Scott has a plan”

“He always has a plan”

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