Local man Harry Derrington (30) has been unsuccessful in getting as much as a smile out of the owner of his local convenience store, despite visiting his shop almost daily.

“I buy the same packet of smokes from him each day. You’d think he might even remember what I’m after” says Harry.

“But no…. Every time I walk in he acts like he’s never met me before. I’ve been coming here for almost two years!”

Harry says he’s tried almost all of the retail-related one-liners in an attempt to win over Abdu, but each one has been a swing and a miss.

Abdu: “Would you like a bag?”

Harry: “Nah got one in the car [laughter]

Abdu: Enjoy your day

Harry says he’s going to have one last crack with Abdu over the next few weeks and see if he can win him over with cricket related banter. He’s certain he’ll get him.

Abdu: Credit or savings?

Harry: More like Slavings [laughter]

Abdu: Pin and okay

Abdu says he doesn’t have time to entertain Harry’s idea of champagne comedy, and isn’t overly interested in being a local jester for the South Betoota neighbourhood.

“If they want to talk shit, go to the pub” he said.

“Or that moron at the Fish and Chip shop. These men aren’t funny… Only one man has ever made me laugh out loud and that man is John Cleese”.

“I will ban the next person who makes a joke about Slavings”

“No. I will kill them. I’ve had enough!”

“If I hear more like spendings or savings again, I will go mad”

“The cops will have to shoot me”

With Harry working on some real zingers ahead of his afternoon visit, he says he’s sure he’ll be able to break the big fella by the end of the week.



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