CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As the Australian newspapers continues the hysterical coverage of the fictional post-pandemic phenomenas of ‘quiet quitting’ and ‘CBD avoidance’ – there is one very real collective movement that both Australia’s media and political classes are actively trying to not talk about.
The fact that millions of landlords around Australia have handed their tenants a 90 day notice to vacate their properties over Christmas, with the sole intention of hiking up rents at the exact same time and making them line up around the block to reapply for them again.
This innovative little loophole means that Australian property investors don’t have to worry about the limited laws to protect tenants from unsustainable rental hikes. All they have to do is boot them onto the streets and set a new rate for the next poor suckers.
With zero rent control, rent freeze, and no leases longer than 12 months – at least a few state governments appear to making the very generous effort to ban real estate agents from making applicants bid the highest. But these new laws won’t mean that desperate tenants can’t do that on their accord – as the rental market becomes desperate due to the entitlement of a teal-voting baby boomer landlord caste who will not be shouldering even the slightest interest rate rise – which has been caused by the two years that young people had to spend locked inside to protect the lungs of these same spoilt old cunts.
However, for the renting peasants out there, or even the aspiring renting peasants – there is one card left to play.
Throwing a cinder block through the front window of your local real estate agency! Or even better – the front office of the residential developer who has just gutted your favourite pub to build 40 ‘affordable’ luxury high-rise apartments, and now actively lobbies the state governments to relocate public housing residents to the city’s outskirts where they have no services.
While normal clay bricks also seem to do the job, the old reliable grey cinder block has proven to keep rent low. Because it’s very hard to sell apartments to mainland Chinese foreign students and downsizing barristers a suburb littered with property damage. This is the only way to solve that supply issue we keep hearing about.
Short of reintroducing heroin to your local neighbourhood, the cinder block is the way to go. But you gotta do it repeatedly.
Other soul-less gentrifiers that could use a brick through the window include: juice bars, 24-hour-gyms, machine pilates studios and any retailer that claims to specialise in ‘tea’.
Give it a go today!