As drug testing for Newstart recipients is trialed in three locations across Australia, it appears those critical of the proposal have forgotten a key benefit of conditional welfare.

Not only will the test identify traces of marijuana, methamphetamines, cocaine and heroin, it will also identify those who test positive to drugs as people who can manage on a pretty poor budget.

The coalition government has stepped in and said they would look at welfare recipients who test positive for drugs as proven economic managers with the type of thinking that would be welcome in future budget discussions.   

“Anyone who can live on less than $245 a week and still have enough left over for a few hot ones has some serious financial prowess,” stated treasurer Josh Frydenberg.

“They are the sort of person who might be able to see us through the upcoming recession that Labor will be responsible for”

“I could use ya to balance the books [haha]”

Even Prime Minister Scott Morrison has weighed in stating a welfare recipient who can set aside funds to purchase drugs “deserves a go as much as they deserve some goey!”


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