A warehouse in Betoota Ponds has today been rocked by allegations that the alpha male forklift driver with a boony moustache may have cracked a smile over smoko.

This comes after nearly three decades of pensive listening and quiet pondering in the smoko shed, while tucking into the same salad sandwiches and enamel mug of Earl Gray.

66-year-old Ted Maley has held the title of unofficial king of the jungle as far back as anyone can remember, and commands more respect within this workplace than anyone of the trade union officials or corporate bosses could ever understand.

This may come as a surprise, given Ted’s unwillingness to offer any more than the bare minimum of conversation or interpersonal interactions over thirty years.

The warehouse, which is the logistical hub for Southern Queensland’s most popular fish-guts-based garden fertiliser, has sat in this same industrial estate for several generations – and employs up to 50 people at any given time.

And whether they know it or not, every single one them answers to Ted – even the blokes who are far higher up the chain than him (on paper).

However, Ted’s famous Wayne Bennett-style straight face appears to have been momentarily loosened up today – after one of the dumbest young men to ever get his LF ticket retold a humorous story about the weekend.

The young bloke’s story – which started at the pub, but ended up with him swimming in a rather pungent creek, before somehow finding himself in the watch house, before returning home covered in mud to find out his in-laws were visiting – was so ridiculous that not even Ted could hold a wry smile.

His smile, which turned into a big grin, was followed by some old man head shaking and an early exit from the break room. This resulted in a roar of laughter that was louder than the actual punchline.

Without saying a word, Ted had brightened the mood of everyone of his workmates by reminding them that it is indeed possible to ‘break’ the old boy’s composure, and that he doesn’t secretly hate them.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here