WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Shawn Nguyen, like many others around the nation, is finally coming to terms with the truth today.
Once again the warmer weather has rolled around, and once again the accountant from the Flightpath District has been left ruing his lack of a health regime.
Nguyen confirmed to us this afternoon, that the only chance he has of getting his rig into shape is a crook bout of food poisoning.
“There is no other way around it, unfortunately,” the 27-year-old boyfriend said.
“Despite promising myself and my girlfriend that I would cut down on the amount of shit I eat and grog I drink and exercise on a regular basis, here I am again.”
Nguyen explained that it would take nothing short of medium rare chicken burger to get him over the line.
“I’d need the better part of a week throwing up anything I put down my throat to have any chance,” Nguyen said.
“It’s over. Maybe 2019 will be the year.”
Nguyen then told us that he isn’t going to be keeping him awake at night however.
“I mean it would be nice, but it’s not like I really give a fuck, to be honest. I’m not going to be fat-shamed by society and it’s unrealistic body images that it bombards me with every day,” he said.
“Only by my girlfriend who always takes the opportunity to grab my fat bits whenever she can in public, but that’s par for the course isn’t it.”
“I’m not that unhealthy anyway, I just don’t look like a Victorian Rules Football player or a fuckhead Crossfitter, and I’m fine with that.”
