A local man with an extensive criminal history of property damage and petty theft has today once again declared that the local cops have it in for him.

The Betoota Grove-based black sheep of his family, Muzza Norton (38), says he can’t even go to the shops to buy a packet a grey-market Chinese cigarettes without the fucken pigs getting all up in shit.

Between his part-time work as a baggage handler at Betoota Lake cruise terminal, and his frequent trips to the Betoota Ponds industrial estates where he is definitely not doing burn outs, Muzza is constantly having to put up with what he describes as ‘full blown police harassment and borderline police brutality’.

While multiple government inquiries have found that the Queensland Police Force does indeed have a shady history of profiling certain members of the community, it seems that Muzza might actually be an anomaly – as the middle-aged son of an affluent local pharmacist.

And today was like any other day, as the local Nu-Metal enthusiast was once again treated to the sniffer dog treatment after being waved to the side of the road during his late-morning commute to one of the boys houses.

It’s a phenomenon that has left everyone puzzled, except for Muzza’s friends and family, who still cannot understand why the fuck he spent the 40 grand inheritance he received from his late grandfather on a souped up 800hp R34 Skyline GT-R.

But Muzza’s loyal mates Kenno and Bradley completely agree that the cops should be spending their time catching murderers and crooked politicians.

“Fucken bullshit” says Bradley, also known as B-Rad, as he packs a Mount Kosciuszko sized cone and pulls it in like he’s been given a green whistle on the sideline of an NRL match.

“Always harassing you and shit”

Muzza, who still has not taken off his sunglasses or hood since before being pulled this morning, totally agrees – as he takes the bong from B-rad and begins pinching at the chop bowl.

However, espite the frustration at losing twenty minutes of his morning while a police K9 sniffed around the doors of his Poison Ivy-coloured cop-bait GT-R, this local bad boy sure does enjoy talking about his rocky relationship with the law – as though he is some sort of organised crime figure.

“Fucken dogs” he says, as exhaling the cannabis smoke.

“Motherfuckers couldn’t find nothing. Probably smelt that shit on me though haha”



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