A local apprentice tradesman who was spotted catching a 5:00am suburban council bus – with all of his tools and a packed lunch – has clearly fucked up.

The fact that his commute requires him to change between buses and trains also suggests he couldn’t have really fucked up worse than he has.

As a 19-year-old first year chippy, there’s not much that Ollie Minichiello holds dearer than his work tools.

Every day at work he watches them like a hawk, because up until now, they are the most expensive things he’s ever owned. Other than his prized work ute.

The work ute that took him 18 months to save for. A goal he set himself while still in high school. It’s a noble steed. A reliable old beast – and most importantly, it’s place to store his tools – the second most prized possessions.

It’s an early 2000s Toyota Landcruiser complete with the snorkel for when he eventually makes his way to Queensland to visit Moreton Island with the boys.

But unfortunately, all of those hopes, plans, and conveniences are on hold for the foreseeable future.

Because Ollie is a dumb cunt who decided to drive home from the Bowlo after consuming roughly 7 schooners last Sunday.

“Proper done.” he says.

“They got me to blow into the bag. I’d already fucked up getting that pissed with work the next day. But figuring out how to use public transport for the first time in my life at 4am on a Mon day wasn’t very fun”

And now he’s got three months to think about what he’s done.

Three months of absolutely laser-sharp alarm clocks and peak-hour commutes home on those same buses and trains. Three months of no TV shows, no midweek socialising, no fun. Three months of arriving home absolutely fucked from hanging doors and filling skip bins at sundown, only to have enough time to shower before dinner and lay out his workwear for the next day and then crashing out. Three months of spending his one day off work cleaning his room and washing his workwear from the week before.

“It’s been good for me” says young Ollie, absolutely devoid of ego.

“An hour and half each way for three months gives you a lot of time to think about what you’ve done”

“But every day on this bus gets me closer to a 630am sleep in”


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