World News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Donald Trump today banned the US government from giving funding to health groups that offer counselling surrounding health issues that involve women's private parts, such as their pussies. The President signed an order reinstating the “global gag rule”, which denies US foreign aid to groups who "perform or actively promote grabbing women by the pussies and...

JUAN CIUDADANO | Trump Editor | CONTACT In a defining move, the US president-elect Donald Trump has decreed he will conduct all official meetings with foreign leaders and advisors using no more than 140 characters per speaker. Buoyed by the impact of his @realDonaldTrump twitter account, the real estate mogul announced the move via social media Tuesday. "@realDonaldTrump such a success, my popularity thru...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT President-Elect Donald J Trump is reportedly reconsidering whether or not he will go ahead with the official inauguration into the White House this Friday, after learning about a community rally against him in Sydney, Australia. Speaking to the The Betoota Advocate this morning, Vice President-Elect Michael Pence says Trump was 'considerably rattled' upon learning that...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Once thought to be almost definitely extinct, the Anglo-French given name of Graham was resurrected in a Townsville hospital overnight. The name - which is historically believed to be a combination of possibly meaning "gravel", and ham, meaning "hamlet" - has not been registered a new name by Australian Births Deaths And Marriages since 1962. The parents of the child,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT President Barack Obama said goodbye to the nation today, stating in a farewell address that he hadn't abandoned his vision of progressive change. In a packed hall of supporters in his adopted hometown, President Obama admitted "for every two steps forward, it often feels we take one step back." "This is where I learned that change only happens when...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite the fact it has been four, extremely warm Summer days since the Christmas ham was pulled out of the oven, Dads around the country are still of the belief that it's still good to eat. One local man, Brett Noon (29) says he's pretty certain the cut up leg of pig has spent more time...

ESSIE BURKE | Human Interest | CONTACT NORTH POLE - An ageing fat man with a predilection for sliding down chimneys in crimson garb and lavishing gifts on children has confirmed he spends more on kids with parents that work in finance or corporate law. In an exclusive interview with the Advocate, the icon of crass consumerism and the magic of...

20 December, 2016. 14:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Receiving his degree in interior design just last week, Michael Rawlins never thought he'd be in the situation he's in now. Speaking to The Advocate earlier this morning, the 23-year-old explained that the thought of having to bayonet a Russian or Chinese millennial is 'seriously stressing him out'. "The planet is ending and...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Southern European men are well-regarded around the world for not being dictated by the unachievably high magazine standards of body image set by Calvin Klein commercials. In fact, the further south you go, the less they care. Australian-Greek men are some of the most free men in the world With this phenomena not yet fully monetised by Australian retailers,...

DUSTIN WAGIN | Style Blitz | CONTACT Achtung mein party people! Be that party the GOP, One Nation, or New Balance, fascism is back baby, and it’s sexier than a well kept Luger! With hip young trendsters like Milio Yianappolous and Richard Spencer sporting looks as pure as their Aryan bloodlines, and Australia’s own George Christiansen posing like an SS Officer in 70s...