The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Grade 1 hiking trails around town are quivering in fear this afternoon as a breeding pair of local Baby Boomers have celebrated the Coalition election victory by treating themselves to fresh pair of Merrell boots - each. Greg and Bucket Heimans were losing sleep earlier this month because the prospect of Bill Shorten and...

INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact "Why don't you have any shares?" "Where does all your money go?" "Don't you have a plan for the future?" These are just some of the questions that Margaret Stilton receives occasionally from friends, family and above all, men. As she approaches 30, some of her friends are investing in real estate, others in crypto. Unsurprisngly,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A large fireball was observed over southern parts of the nation's night sky earlier this week, which was later discovered to be a meteor. However, it unfortunately burned up in the Earth's atmosphere before it had a chance to put an end to humanity. Speaking to The Advocate this morning, Lewis Duran from the Bureau of...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After months of wildly confident pre-election analysis and predictions were proven incorrect during Saturday's 2019 Federal Election, Australian news publishers are now left with task of breaking down the teflon walls that surround the inner-city Australian echo chamber. Even newspapers that provided unbridled bias reporting towards the election were left surprised by the re-election of a Morrison government, and...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A polite man from Sydney's rapidly expanding gentrification belt is set to become the Opposition Leader in coming weeks as his only real opponent in the race decided to drop out this afternoon. Labor insiders have revealed to The Advocate today that the Member for Grayndler, Anthony Albanese, has been selected to lead the party...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Grove mother of three told reporters this morning that she's a 'cool mum' - just hours before police arrested her at the six-bedroom Tudor revival home on Whiteshoe Crescent. Bernice Cole Watson, 46, has been charged by police for supplying alcohol to her youngest child who was due to attend a small gathering...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A bookish robot from Brisbane's east who was once our Prime Minister has told the media this morning from New York that he thinks rising Labor star Jim Chalmers would be a great new leader for the party that just lost an unlosable election. Kevin Rudd, who now attends lots of meetings and does...

IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports | Contact When he's not putting clothes pegs on the tails of neighbourhood cats and throwing rocks at passing buses, Denin Clymen keeps every oversize Murray Cod he catches out of Lake Betoota. Rangers from the Shire Council say they're terrified of the 24-year-old, who shot to local fame in 2004 for attempting to assassinate a sitting...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Jamie Oliver’s restaurant group has gone into receivership this week amid claims he ignored patron who demanded that the chain spend more than 15 minutes making their meals. Locally, the Jamie Oliver Italian in the French Quarter will remain open for the time being with staff having their wages guaranteed by the struggling group's Australian...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A young French Quarter couple are set to spend the early evening up on Flirtation Hill in Betoota Heights as they listen to 'Fast Car' by Tracey Chapman, again. Melanie Russel and Tom Pole are in their last year at South Betoota High School and both dream about getting out of this 'shithole' on the...