The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Former Senator Derryn Hinch abhors gun violence. He says guns kill people, not people. He doesn't like sophomoric, unfunny journalism. There are many things in this world that Derryn 'Justice' Hinch doesn't like. The Human Headline, who came to the Senate not by writing a cheque to local dark arts agency, AAA Aardvark Preference Whisper &...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Walking into the Old City District's Kellett's Gunsmith & Grocers on Market Street and the many things that catch the eye will say that winter is ending and the spring is starting. As it hasn't rained again this winter, spring is expected to be just as catastrophically depressing and sad for everyone in town as...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Queensland police will have new powers to search protesters they suspect of possessing so-called "locking devices", under new laws to be introduced to State Parliament Annastacia Palaszczuk told Parliament the protester crackdown comes on advice from the Police Commissioner, as Brisbane becomes the coalface for protesting irresponsible policy related to pollution and fossil fuel dependance. The Premier says blocking...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In some good news for dodgy developers, the NSW Government has unveiled exciting new plans for faulty skyrises today. Speaking to reporters from the Developers Republic of Sydney this morning, Premier Gladys Berejiklian revealed the plans to turn structurally unsound high rises into tourist attractions. "This is innovation and ingenuity at it's finest," Berejiklian told reporters. "Rather than...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of our town's weirdest looking people, who is unsurprisingly English, has tentatively searched for how one becomes a 'Permanent Resident' of Australia, after leaked government documents suggest the consequences of a no-deal Brexit would be disastrous. Miles Alabath, originally from England's hellish Midlands region, is currently enjoying his second year here in Australia and...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Momentum is building for a new plebiscite on whether Advance Australia Fair should remain as the nation's national anthem; the front runner to replace it being Duel of the Fates, a four-minute song composed by American John Williams in 1999. Duel of the Fates is featured during the climate of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the Prime Minister returned home from the tiny Pacific nation of Tuvalu last week, in his briefcase was a copy of the historic She'll Be Right Agreement on Climate Change. The only signature on it was his own. ScoMo, the Prime Minister, drafted the key points of the agreement in his head as he...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights pensioner has told The Advocate this afternoon that he's constantly concerned by the media's portrayal of Baby Boomers, saying that not all Boomers are rich. Rodney Taylor, of Rockview Street, has been on the single aged-pension since he retired in 2011. The 70-year-old receives just over $24 000 a year from the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Just hours after being captured by socks down country boy Chris Latham, Rugby Australia's new media pigeon has been fired on the spot. The pigeon has shouldered the blame for the 36-nil flogging the Wallabies received in Auckland tonight, telling staff he's sorry for letting the team down. Latham has also accepted some responsibility, telling The Advocate moments ago that...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Socks down country boy Chris Latham pulled the boots back on this afternoon and caught Rugby Australia a new marketing pigeon just in time for tonight’s do-or-die Bledisloe clash at Eden Park. The All Blacks haven’t lost at the ground since 1994 and the Wallabies haven’t lifted the sport’s heaviest trophy since 2002. In many ways,...