The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Senator Malcolm Roberts has dismissed claims the Amazon rainforest is on fire, despite the catastrophic event making international news. Roberts told the media this morning in Yulara that he was under the impression that rainforests can't burn, as they're full of rain. "Rain doesn't burn," he said. "Therefore a rainforest cannot burn. If that doesn't make sense,...

INGRID DOULTON | Local News | Contact A local city worker has done the math and came to the conclusion that she's not getting much bang for her private health insurance buck - so she's dumped it. For the time being, Wendy Spears says she can do without the luxury. She told our reporter that she's healthy, she looks after herself. Mornings...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As young parents around the nation finally get their heads around the fact that blackface is never appropriate, the 2019 Book Week festivities has gone off without a hitch. This year's theme is “Reading is my Secret Power” - and kids right around the country are dressing up as their favourite literary figures. Or their parents' favourite literary figures....

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Former Senator Derryn Hinch abhors gun violence. He says guns kill people, not people. He doesn't like sophomoric, unfunny journalism. There are many things in this world that Derryn 'Justice' Hinch doesn't like. The Human Headline, who came to the Senate not by writing a cheque to local dark arts agency, AAA Aardvark Preference Whisper &...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Walking into the Old City District's Kellett's Gunsmith & Grocers on Market Street and the many things that catch the eye will say that winter is ending and the spring is starting. As it hasn't rained again this winter, spring is expected to be just as catastrophically depressing and sad for everyone in town as...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Queensland police will have new powers to search protesters they suspect of possessing so-called "locking devices", under new laws to be introduced to State Parliament Annastacia Palaszczuk told Parliament the protester crackdown comes on advice from the Police Commissioner, as Brisbane becomes the coalface for protesting irresponsible policy related to pollution and fossil fuel dependance. The Premier says blocking...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In some good news for dodgy developers, the NSW Government has unveiled exciting new plans for faulty skyrises today. Speaking to reporters from the Developers Republic of Sydney this morning, Premier Gladys Berejiklian revealed the plans to turn structurally unsound high rises into tourist attractions. "This is innovation and ingenuity at it's finest," Berejiklian told reporters. "Rather than...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of our town's weirdest looking people, who is unsurprisingly English, has tentatively searched for how one becomes a 'Permanent Resident' of Australia, after leaked government documents suggest the consequences of a no-deal Brexit would be disastrous. Miles Alabath, originally from England's hellish Midlands region, is currently enjoying his second year here in Australia and...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Momentum is building for a new plebiscite on whether Advance Australia Fair should remain as the nation's national anthem; the front runner to replace it being Duel of the Fates, a four-minute song composed by American John Williams in 1999. Duel of the Fates is featured during the climate of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the Prime Minister returned home from the tiny Pacific nation of Tuvalu last week, in his briefcase was a copy of the historic She'll Be Right Agreement on Climate Change. The only signature on it was his own. ScoMo, the Prime Minister, drafted the key points of the agreement in his head as he...