The Nation

Melbourne Prepares To See Real Greater Western Sydney Giants In The Wild

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With UFC 243 taking place this weekend in Melbourne's Marvel Stadium, the Victorian capital remains culturally relevant in the eyes of the rest of the nation for one week longer than usual. With the AFL Grand Final in the rear view, the city now looks to host a bloodbath in the shape of Robert Whittaker vs Israel Adesanya. For...

Toowoomba Motorist Confuses Residents By Correctly Using Indicator In Accordance With QLD Law

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Third-generation Toowoomba resident Laurel Coorey-Wagner (55) has today sent shockwaves through The Garden City by using the turn signal lever that protrudes out of the right side of her steering wheel. Laurel was just returning home from dropping the grandkids off at footy practice this afternoon when she took a last minute detour to Woolies to pick up some...

Quiet Australian Wires Plush Jar Jar Binks Toy To Radiator Grill Of His Daihatsu Delta

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In a bold declaration of his political proclivities, a self-confessed Quiet Australia has wired a plush Jar Jar Binks toy to the radiator grill of his Daihatsu Delta tipper so everyone else on our town's roads knows he doesn't believe in climate science. Rodney Howell, a Betoota Heights demolisher by day and champion slot car...

Rugby’s Marketing Pigeon Warned Not To Make Anti-Referee Content This Week

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A content production pigeon at rugby union's peak government body has been warned not to make any anti-referee material this week after a series of 'shocking' and 'embarrassing' blunders made by officials during the Wallabies match against Wales ultimately guided the Welsh to victory. The next match for the Australians is in five days against...

“Run Those Climate Bastards Over!” Says Man Who Dodged Draft Because He Didn’t Want To Die

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Climate strikes and protests brought the heart of our town's Old City District to a grinding halt this morning, prompting one local retiree to say people should just run the bastards over and get on with it. Over a dozen young activists glued themselves to the pedestrian crossing on the corner of Remienko Boulevard and...

Local Man Begs For Leniency After Court Sentences Him To Move House By Himself

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A 44-year-old man convicted of fraud offences has been sentenced in local court this morning to move a house by himself. Magistrate John Collins explained during his sentencing remarks that Bradley Roger Oliver of Steelhouse Circle, Betoota Heights, was brazen in his crimes and showed little remorse to the victim. Mr Oliver was convicted of two...

Local Gay Man Begins Early Stages Of Quarter-Life Crisis With Impulsive 2014 Bieber Bleach

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT James Stewart had been grocery shopping at his local Woolies when he experienced a sudden anxiety attack. The successful lawyer turned entrepreneur turned philanthropist had recently celebrated his 25th birthday and was worried that he hadn’t accomplished much in life. “It was quite harrowing,'' says James, “One weekend I was walking my dog around New Farm Park, the next I...

Marketing Pigeons Smash Some Asahi To Celebrate Being On First-Name Basis With Rod Macqueen

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Somewhere in Tokyo, not too far from the fabled Shibuya crossing, some of Rugby Australia's marketing pigeons are downing some Sapporo's to celebrate being on a first-name basis with Wallabies World Cup, Bledisloe and Tri-Nations winning coach, Rod Macqueen. The pigeons, who are largely nameless outside of their department, we're bobbing their way through the...

Barnaby Left Spewing As Drought Envoy Credit Card Declines Buying Last Minute Tickets To RWC

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Morrison Government's Special Envoy To The Drought repeatedly entered his credit card details into Qantas' website this afternoon only for the big red bus company to come back and tell him the card doesn't work. Barnaby Joyce has told his superiors that he needs to travel to Japan before the weekend because there's a...

NSW Betrays Christians By Passing Bill That Helps Provide Adequate Healthcare To Women

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The New South Wales government has today shocked one of their biggest supporter bases by deciding to decriminalise a universally acknowledged medical procedure that helps women. After final vote in the Lower House which the Premier missed because she had to "run the state" - a bill was passed and then reintroduced to the Lower House today. Deep divisions in...

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