ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Somewhere in Tokyo, not too far from the fabled Shibuya crossing, some of Rugby Australia’s marketing pigeons are downing some Sapporo’s to celebrate being on a first-name basis with Wallabies World Cup, Bledisloe and Tri-Nations winning coach, Rod Macqueen.

The pigeons, who are largely nameless outside of their department, we’re bobbing their way through the lobby of the team’s hotel in Ginza when they happened on Big Rod who was dripping wet at the reception desk having forgotten his room key before a pool visit.

“My name is Rodney Macqueen and I’m in Room 406,” he told the receptionist.

“I am locked out of my room.”

Onlookers have told The Advocate that one of the pigeons approached Mr Macqueen to see if I could help.

“Jesus Christ, Marketing Pigeon! Can’t you see I’m busy here?” yelled Rod.

Rod turned to the rest of the marketing pigeons looking on and chose to chastise them as well.

“Can’t you stupid pigeons do something useful? Haven’t you ever seen a half-naked man standing in a lobby before? Jesus wept!”

The marketing pigeons scattered, John Eales told Rod to not be so hard on them.

“They’re only doing their best, mate,” added Gentle John.

“They’re only pigeons.”

But the pigeons were already gone when the receptionist handed Rod a new key.

To celebrate the fact that World Cup Hero Rod Macqueen knew their names, the Pigeon cooed and shook their filthy tail feathers all the way to some nondescript bar in downtown Ginza and ordered a round of Ashais.

“We’ve made it now, boys,” cooed one pigeon.

Our reporter understands that because they all were drinking together, it meant using the Rugby Australia Marketing Diners Club Card was OK.

The pigeons treated themselves to a seed bell, which was only AU$200, they said. One pigeon was overheard saying the more seed bell they do, the more money they save.

As the night crept forward and the demure click-clacking of their tiny custom riding boots grew louder and louder, they decided to call it a night.

But just as they were about to leave, Justin Harrison and Jeremy Paul poured themselves in through the door and told them too sit back down.

More to come.


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