The Nation

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT “Mummy, who is that?” asked three-year-old Jimmy Ticehurst, as his mother Susanne (32) drove the family Prius past a bus bearing the image of a dead-eyed, suited man. Paying attention to the traffic, Susanne Ticehurst gave the advertisement the most careless of glances before coming to an incorrect but understandable conclusion. “Oh, they’re doing another Thunderbirds reboot,” stated Susanne, mistaking...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Motorist Pat Zelman had a close shave with the law on Wednesday, after almost having his Nissan Maxima defected for worn tyres, despite the fact that he knew they were perfectly fine.  After a long day at the Carpet Tile Warehouse, Pat was looking forward to eating microwaved quiche in front of Air Crash Investigations when a patrol...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Vape smoker Aidan Durham (36) is proud to say that honking on his high-tech hookah machine has completely replaced his need to smoke the cigarettes that used to control his life.  “Yeah it’s all thanks to vaping hey,” stated Durham as a Dennis Learian amount of smoke gushed from his mouth. “Only thing is, I might be hitting it a...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The many florists and restaurants of Melbourne just counting their lucky stars today after the Andrews Government shut the economy for the next five days after the Super Spicy Cough jumped the fence down there. One Chapel Street restaurant owner said he was fully booked for the next three days but now that Dan Andrews...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Today is a sad day in the Western Queensland ska scene because one of the districts' biggest acts has been forced into changing their name due to the rise of a far-right group both here and overseas. The Littleproud Boys, a seven-piece collection rudeboys from the Darling Downs, are brainstorming a new name because...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After a relatively quiet few months, the Home Affairs Minister and aspiring Prime Minister has returned to the spotlight. The ex Queensland cop who left the force in circumstances that don't get spoken about has burst back into the news cycle after revelations he handed out a lot of community grants in a questionable manner. He has been...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Last night's five-set epic between Nick Krygios and Frenchman Ugo Humbert was subject of an hour-long study today that concluded the nation wants more of this, please. What this substance that the public wants more of is still subject to the investigation but early reports suggest it's high-quality and exciting tennis between two young...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After making it through the last 12 months Phil Harley has now gone bust. The plumber has folded his residential handyman style business today after a tough few months. "Yeah it's back to the old boss and the same old wisecracks every day," sighed Phil. Speaking to The Advocate this morning, Phil explained that he can pin point...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights father of three said he's been making sure to watch two hours of Sky News before bed each night because Easter is coming up and he'll need to educate his family on the real way things work in the world. It became clear as the interview went on that Desmond Murray was...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT The one man that Australia looks to as the ultimate decider on what constitutes institutional racism, has this week declared he may have gotten it wrong once before. Peter Helliar, a former stand up comedian turned evening TV show panellist is well known for his street-smarts and ability to put himself in the shoes of the persecuted, says...