The Nation

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The leader of the island outpost of Tasmania has today revealed he kinda wouldn't mind a bit of an outbreak if he's honest. Without the lockdowns of the mainland to occupy voters, Tasmanian Premier Peter Gutwein says he's struggling to distract people from the housing crisis crippling the state. "The spicy cough's kind of the perfect distraction from...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT I'LL TAKE THAT AS A REALLY COOL COMMENT: The ABC has this week had to confront the toxic brand of public debate that they have created by hosting weekly arguments between the loudest members of the Australian political class on live television. This week it was announced that the public broadcaster is again looking for a new host for...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Premier of Queensland has today made another last-ditch pitch to snag a major sporting event. Speaking exclusively to The Advocate via telephone from Tokyo, Palaszczuk confirmed she's offered to take the Olympics of Japan's hands. "I told them I'd dangle a nice little 7 million dollar carrot if they want to just pack and move the whole...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Federal Government has today revealed that they've gone all out on an international lobbying mission. Not to secure more supply of crucial jabs that could help navigate us out of lockdown, but to try and convince Unesco not to label our Great Barrier Reef 'In Danger.' Environment Minister Sussan Ley has reportedly been on a whirlwind international trip...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With three major cities in lockdown tonight, a vast majority of the Australian population is currently unable to go to work, to earn enough money to compete with the cost of living in this country in 2021, on top our end of financial year tax bills that seem to be getting spent on nothing but car parks and...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local father of four has today offered up some hope for our flailing nation. With over half the population in lockdown due to our federal government's woefully inadequate jab rollout, Betoota Heights chippy Phil Kostas reckons the end is in sight. "We are gonna be alright. She hates the heat mate," said Kostas today. "Haaaaaaaates the heat...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Melbourne Suburb of Fitzroy is reporting one of the most incredible environmental changes in recorded history this week. In a never-seen-before occurrence, a sharehouse in the trendy inner Melbourne suburb has developed its own ecosystem within its walls. The sight that biologists needed to see to believe, is a place tenanted by 5 young professionals, and is...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT WHO WANTS TO TAKE ON THE CHAMP? Despite dreaming about this scenario since the first day of his apprenticeship twenty years ago, Yagoona-based carpenter, Cam Seftons (41) has already grown tired of being forced to stay home on full pay. After getting a bit too familiar with Sky Racing in his man-cave yesterday, Cam has decided to give the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The State of Melbourne has escalated a rivalry with an old foe today. Speaking to the media this morning, Premier Dan Andrews announced that his government would be extending the state's lockdown for another 7 days. The declaration came shortly before Melbourne's arch-rival Sydney, announced another 78 new cases, with 21 of those still out in the community...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A report released by the Gold Coast council has confirmed that identifying a local chick is pretty easy, and it has nothing to do with a golden tan. Beth Schwartz, the managing director of the tourist department, says that the Gold Coast has become its own entity, complete with its own set of customs and culture.  Though the early 2000s...