The Nation

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some big news for our nation's educational instituions, Nikki Webster could be moving schools! The hot gossip ciruclating in every single school this week, comes just 20 years after the young superstar lit up the Sydney Olympics and the rumour mill in Australia. Webster famously wowed the world at the age of 13 when she performed at the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some big news for our nation's educational instituions, Nikki Webster could be moving schools! The hot gossip ciruclating in every single school this week, comes just 20 years after the young superstar lit up the Sydney Olympics and the rumour mill in Australia. Webster famously wowed the world at the age of 13 when she performed at the...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With nearly half of Australians in some sort of related lockdown, many are struggling with the hedonistic luxury of spending a lot of time in bed in a desperate attempt to feel some vague form of control over their life. One such sleep gambler, Gabriel Simon (42) of Betoota Heights, has complained of sleep-related problems ever since he was...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The island nation of New Zealand has won global praise today, after confirming a genrous donation of spciy cough jabs to a less fortunate nation. Speaking from Wellington this morning, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said she will be providing an extra 1,000,000 jabs to an under resourced neighbour struggling with global supply constraints. "We actually have been able...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The premier of Queensland has confirmed to The Advocate that days don't get much better than yesterday. Speaking from Tokyo after being 'pressured' to stay for the opening ceremony of the Olympics, Annastacia Palaszczuk explained that she can't think of a better 24 hours than the one she's just had. "Slamming the border shut on NSW barely 12...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Sydney plumber has today made an earnest promise to his better half. The man with another 10 days off work on his hands has promised that he'll make a start on doing up the second bathroom during the next construction shutdown. This comes after nearly 2 or 3 years of putting off the job in the place...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The holidaying Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk says she's actually gutted that Australia Olympic Committee Chairman John Coates is forcing her to go to the Olympic Opening ceremony. "Oh no," she told Mr Coates in front of dozens of reporters this evening in Japan. "Please don't make me go to the Opening Ceremony! Nooo! Stop!" "John, please. It's...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT HE'LL TRY ANYTHING: The off-chance that Australia might nab a few Olympic gold medals at the Tokyo Hunger Games over the next fortnight might be the only reprieve that Scotty From Marketing has from an unflattering news cycle that has finally cottoned on to how bad he is at leading our country during a major crisis. With 15 million...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A worldly local man of culture has today confirmed his life-long allegiance to the popular Japanese drink -196.  Similarly to certain dad’s who nail their colours to the mast of a mass produced pale ale after trying it for the first time, Ben Kovacs said it’s all -196 going forward for him.  Speaking to The Advocate today, the big fella...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With Brisbane buzzing this morning, Queensland's Premier can reveal that preparation for hosting the 2032 Olympics has already begun. With the river city beating no one to the right to host the Summer Olympics in a decade's time, Annastacia Palaszczuk has made a significant venue announcement. "It is with great excitement that I can reveal our Irukandji will...