The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Equipped with more contemporary music knowledge than almost anybody in living memory, Conch Willis confidently stated that a popular track from last October should've been higher than where placed on Triple J's Hottest 100 Countdown this afternoon. "Woah!" uttered the 27-year-old, almost choking on his Corona. "That's bullshit. This should've been way higher than that. This is an absolute track....

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT ‘Blue with pink stripes or blue with yellow?’, that's the question causing turmoil in a Betoota Grove walk-in wardrobe, as a local Dad prepares to get dressed for a night at the theatre. Sporting camel brown Gazman Chinos and R.M Williams loafers, it’s understood artsy middle class Dad, Russell Macksfield (53), is struggling to choose which shirt...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For the first time in Victoria's history, an emergency 'Code Brown' alert has been activated across the state. From 12pm today, health care staff and resources were redeployed to different sites and non-essential services postponed, as the entire Victorian services workforce are asked to clear the way for Premier Dan Andrews to take a humungous boris after nature called...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As January matures beyond the festive season, the fairy lights of Christmas have once again been switched off and rolled up for another year. Omicron pending, almost everyone except for schoolteachers are back to work and have finished mapping out the year in front of them. This also means that the nation's new year's resolutions are starting to fall apart...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Prime Minister Scott Morrison is being praised for a thoughtful gesture today, after helping out one of his international counterparts. Picking up the phone, Scotty reportedly offered the underfire British leader some advice on how to dodge scandals gripping his leadership. The much-appreciated advice comes as Boris Johnson grapples with public outrage over the fact he was holding...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT If there’s one thing local woman Laura Knapton can count on, it’s hearing the soothing sound of a freight train that signals her boyfriend has fallen asleep. A feat he’s seemingly able to manage within seconds of hitting the pillow.  Though annoying on any given day, considering it severely impacted the quality of her sleep, Laura is used to...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local hospitality baron has today revealed to The Advocate the extent to which the 'labour shortage' has affected the economy. Payt Hief, the owner of the Tarte à la Crème restaurant and bar chain in South Western Queensland explained that it's physically impossible to find staff. "For love or money, it's not possible to hire anyone to...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A Byron Mum is working hard to cover her tracks today, covertly transferring a box of caged eggs into a free-range carton whilst unpacking her weekly grocery shop. Returning home from a discreet shop at the main street Mercato Woolworths, it’s believed the local Balinese rug importer took all 12 factory-farmed eggs and quickly placed them inside...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT While much of the country laments the lack of fresh supermarket produce, a very single Betoota man is believed to be happily thriving on a diet of frozen delicacies.  Despite not consuming a single vegetable since Boxing Day, warehouse foreman and long-term bachelor Wayne McCain is understood to be quite happy surviving on all three major frozen...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact This week, 34-year-old Northern Rivers woman Tonic Channon should be celebrating the fact that the celestial orb that heats this spinning hellrock is entering Aquarius. Instead, she's enjoying the hospitality down at her local base hospital in New South Wales because she, like many of her peers, did their own research when it came...