Local News

Local Neurosurgeon Says He Still Hasn’t Mastered Cutting A Mango Up

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A popular young neurosurgeon at Betoota Private Hospital has spoken of the difficulty he faces in cutting up mangoes, saying it's often easier to cut up someone's head. Brendan Windsor , explained to The Advocate that he either leaves too much flesh on the seed or ends up chopping into the seed itself. "Very difficult, it is....

Trendy Local Cafe Owner Spends Morning Milking His Almond Trees

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Danny Jogmann opened the Tungen Min Røvhul cafe in Betoota's Old City district last summer and since then, the Danish-inspired eatery has become a local institution among the city's cultural elite. Offering traditional Danish foodstuffs like beer, chocolate, cigarettes and beer, Jogmann says business is booming - but that doesn't mean he's got any time to relax. The...

Local Girl Briefly Toys With The Idea Of Putting Arms Through Sleeves Of Jacket Draped Over Shoulders

INGRID DOULTON | Lady About Town | Contact A popular local fashion blogger has spoken of how she once considered putting her arms through the sleeves of a jacket draped over her shoulders, but ultimately decided against it. Amy Caldwell, of Betoota's trendy French Quarter, told The Advocate that she was waiting for a taxi the other night outside the Exchange Hotel...

Disbelief As Newly-Relocated Commercial Pilot Reveals He’s Not Married To A Hostie

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Recently-relocated Betoota pilot, Captain John Scibson (55) has shocked the town today by revealing that his wife works in a career that has nothing to do with aviation. After keeping to himself for a couple months, the regional commercial flight captain was spotted yarning to a few of the locals at the Lord Kidman hotel yesterday for the Cowboys...

CHILLING: What would happen if Betoota was nuked by North Korea?

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Based upon North Korea's most recent nuclear test, a bomb of the same yield would all but destroy our bustling inland metropolis - according to a popular website. NUKEMAP is an interactive map using Google Maps and unclassified nuclear weapons effects data to project what might happen to a location should it be attacked with nuclear weapons. This morning, our reporters set the crosshairs...

Pub Banter Gains Momentum As Two Alpha Males Turn On Each Other

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT What was always going to be a rather heavy session has now been cranked up a few more notches than initially expected, it has been confirmed. As a group of local pisspots hit the pub this windy Saturday afternoon, a solid turn out from the first suggested kick-off was a good sign in the front bar of the Lord...

Local 35-year-old wondering why Triple J doesn’t appeal to him anymore

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A socially-progressive yet musically regressive local alpaca breeder has been left wondering why each time he tunes into Triple J, he doesn't like what he hears. Now in his 35th year on this god-forsaken rock affectionately known as Earth, Peter Monkton told The Advocate that the national youth broadcaster was 'ten times better' back in...

Young Couple Regret Buying First Home After Only Getting 100 Likes Between Them

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A hard-working local millennial couple has revealed the horror that dawn on the day after buying their first house when they only received 100 collective likes between them on their various social media posts. Proudly showing off their humble new three-bedroom South Betoota home, Dennis and Amanda Munro though they were in for a rainstorm...

Tech Start-Up Office Feeling Immediately Threatened As Company Hires First Woman

INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer (On The TV) | Contact Once touted as the next tech hub of South West Queensland, Betootacone Gully ultimately failed to attract a large tech company needed to boost the local economy. But one town's loss is another man's treasure. One start-up the district did lure in was Sunplantia, a company that helps outdoor plants make the transition to indoor life -...

Local Jet-Lagged Man Only Has The Energy To Tell People He’s Jet-Lagged

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Returning from the other side of the planet with wild stories of the frontier, a local traveller crashed out around 8AM this morning after a marathon 30-hour journey home from London. As a result, Betoota Grove-resident Harley Hawthorne is jet-lagged beyond all comprehension. "I've just been on an aeroplane, in economy class, for close to two days,"...

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