ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A popular young neurosurgeon at Betoota Private Hospital has spoken of the difficulty he faces in cutting up mangoes, saying it’s often easier to cut up someone’s head.

Brendan Windsor [pictured with parrot], explained to The Advocate that he either leaves too much flesh on the seed or ends up chopping into the seed itself.

“Very difficult, it is. To cut up a mango that is,” said the 29-year-old.

“Give me a golfball-sized tumour on the medulla oblongata and I’ll have that in the specimen tray going to pathology before you can say purple monkey dishwasher,”

“But yeah, give me a bag of mangoes to cut up and I’ll make a cunt of myself straight away. My mum is real good at it, but I reckon she’d be hard-pressed to do what I do on a daily basis. They only let you fuck up once, then they basically take your tools away for good.”

Echoing the medicine man’s sentiments was his older brother, John, who says he’s very proud of what young Brendan has achieved so far in life, being a 29-year-old brain surgeon and all – but come summertime, they keep the mangos away from him.

Laughing as he recounted a time last summer when their father publically pizzled Brendan for fucking up yet another mango, John said it’s funny how he’s trusted to save lives and perform miracles but simply cannot be trusted around the yellow stonefruit.

“Brendo cut up a mango for the old man and what he served up looked like shit,” he said.

“He’d pierced the skin about six times so the juice leaked out everywhere and the seed had about a kilo of flesh hanging off it still,”

“Dad just went ham on him saying he’s a fucking enigma, with his pet parrot and all. But yeah, love him but keeping the bloke away from mangoes some November is a fucking imperative.”




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