Local News

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT The marketers at Australia’s most unreliable airline have launched an exciting sale this week, aimed to entice bottom feeder NRL and AFL clubs to Kuta. In ads seen across digital and social media this morning, Australia’s least successful sporting franchises are being lured by the promise of $2 Bintangs, as a special treat for not making it...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTSharnie Lavender (31) of Betoota’s French Quarter is a simple woman. She likes her coffee hot, her rosé cool, and her men emotionally unavailable.  According to mates of Lavender, she is back with her shitty ex for at least the fifth time since their original split three years ago. “At least she has given up trying to justify it,” stated...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has found herself in a bit of a moral conundrum today, after yet another one of her ex’s mates messaged asking if she was ‘keen on catching up.’ Though she harboured a few sour feelings post breakup, Monica Vause wasn’t really keen on stirring shit, instead focusing on moving on and bettering herself. Also, none of James'...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTAn important man has gone and done a very important thing and affirmed his importance by buying an important iPad.Herbert Grove, a descendant of Major Wetherby Grove for which Betoota Grove is named, has often considered himself an important person but since his family owned media network acquired a team for him to manage himself, other people...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA local bloke is conducting a crash course in Hogwarts history this evening, as he attempts to keep conversation flowing on a Tinder date that’s losing steam.At 29 years of age, local whitegoods installation specialist Shaun Crabbe is one of the many Betootanese blokes, who despite a familiar run of bad dates continues to swipe for...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTMagic is evidently all around us, even if it has withered a little under the spotlight in the living room of a Betoota Heights home this week. Like a lot of eight-year-olds with no interest in sport, Leo McGuire has gotten really into his magic tricks even if he might not have the patience to practice any of them. As...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA local millennial got his foot on a different ladder today by buying a piece of art just like a real grown up on the telly.A copywriter at a company he despises, Jesse Jessop (34) was looking for a way to give their year some sense of achievement without procreating, buying property, getting a promotion, marrying their long...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA Cessnock retiree is setting up a profitable side hustle today, listing the cubby house in his backyard as a luxury AirBnB.After working for 25 years in the nearby Austar coal mine, it’s understood local retiree Gary Bortoli (53) has turned to a number of small part time roles to keep cash coming in, including working...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA local girl is questioning the longevity of a new relationship this evening, after coming to terms with the fact her boyfriend might in fact be a grub.Staring in horror at the kitchen sink, it’s reported Betoota Heights local Sara Tamlee-Johnstone (29) spotted one of her prized face washers hanging off the handle of her kitchen...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA bloke who’s found himself on pivotal date number three has unfortunately made a poor judgemental call with his meal choice, which now has the potential to impact just how well the rest of the night goes. Samson Dale is alleged to have organised a date night at his favourite Chinese joint (which admittedly, he’d taken a few...