Local News

Regional Uni Student Changes To Brown Pants Before Checking Winter Power Bill

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA Zoomer has prepared well for their future in the Betoota Flight Path District today by popping on their brown pants before checking their winter power bill.Three years into a marketing degree at Betoota University, Albury Wodonga campus, student Liam Lincoln decided to live off campus for his final year for a taste of ‘real life’.Turns out our...

ICU Nurse Asks Boss To Just Wire Her Pay Cheque Directly To Hospital Parking Company

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Betoota Heights woman is breathing a sigh of relief this afternoon after ticking off an important bit of life admin. Melanie Kovac says she's finally gotten on top of her parking bills and fines. After years of battling the prices of the predatory parking company that was given the license to build on the hospital grounds for...

Weary AFL Journo Collapses After 408-Hour Tailing Of Alistair Clarkson Comes To An End

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Melbourne-based AFL journalist has today collapsed in a heap. Riddled by exhaustion, Jackson White-Guy apparently passed out on the street just outside the Herald Sun's office in Melbourne. White-Guy has been taken to hospital but is believed to be in a stable condition, according to the nation's most trusted newspaper. The gun young journo whose dad is...

Local Bloke Confirms Recent Break Up With Stock Photo On Phone Background

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn Betoota Ponds today, a group of adult male friends known as ‘Bray Street Boys’ finally got the confirmation they were looking for that their mate Cody Bendasiuk (23) was single once again.Following tradition, Bendasiuk did not inform his mates of his single status via direct conversation possibly due to fear of crying/showing emotions in front of people...

Housemate Eagerly Waits For Stove To Be Scrubbed Clean To Pour Entire Jar Of Pasta Sauce On It

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAt the age of 31, single woman Mia Hewitt ideally would love nothing more than to live on her own, if not for a perpetually free bathroom but also so she could bring someone back to her room without worrying about the sounds of love richeting of the hollow walls of a very old, very decrepit, three bedroom...

Advice Column | Speaking My Truth As One Of The 60 Millionaires Who Paid No Tax This Year

DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | Contact Since coming out as one of Australia’s 60 millionaires who paid no tax this financial year, I’ve been copping a lot of unfair criticism from Australians who wrongly claim I should be paying my 'fair share' like everyone else.  But I’m not like everyone else. I’m special. Which is why I’ve decided to stand up and speak...

Aussie Gets USA College Experience By Checking HECS Indexation Rate

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Following decades of film and TV glamorising the USA college experience, Aussies are finally getting in on the action as well. In the midst of tax time, Australians with HECS debt logged on to do tax and realised that due to indexation their ‘interest free’ education loans were higher than they were even after paying a portion of it...

Confused Scotty Loses Track Of Jobs And Shows Up To Host The Project

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Proving that a broken clock is right twice a day but a busted former PM never is, a confused Scott Morrison has lost track of his jobs and shown up to host The Project. During last night’s episode of everyone’s favourite hour of banter and propaganda, the panel show opened to reveal the former PM sitting in the seat...

30 Something Man Totally Fine With Listening To Music He Loved As A Teenager Until The Day He Dies

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA bloke who today caught some flack for listening to the same music he loved as a teenager has stated that he doesn’t give ‘two fucks what people say’, and that he has no plans of listening to anything new - ever. Jayden Mulligan admits to The Advocate that he can’t remember the last time he updated his...

Local Woman Forced To Travel Three Suburbs For Bulk Billing Doctor Like She Lives In The Bush

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who recently moved closer to the CBD has found herself struggling to find a bulk bill doctor within 45 mins from her home, which never used to be such a problem when she lived in the suburbs (several years ago). Speaking to The Advocate, Lena Atwood says she swears there are far fewer bulk billing doctors...

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