Headlines

1 February, 2016 13:35 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The fugitive known as "Boo-boo" has today handed himself in to officers at Darwin's Border Force headquarters, after spending more than half of his life on the run. After arriving in Australia in late 2015 as a prenatal asylum seeker, Boo-Boo came to the attention of authorities are being officially documented in an Australian hospital, with...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IN A THINLY-VEILED attempt at telling every woman he has on social media that he now exercises, a 29-year-old Brisbane legal profession said he can't wait to start rooting again, using his soon-to-be chiselled body as a potent sexual weapon, which none of them are going to be able to resist. Concluding that the lack of physical intimacy and...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Filming a public disturbance is harder than most people think. Whether it's a racist middle-aged woman's offensive tirade on public transport, or a bunch of drunk teenagers brawling in the Bi-Lo car park - there is an art to it. With the rise of viral streetfight videos gracing our Facebook newsfeeds, it is very important to make sure your...

2 February, 2016. 11:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE SEASON DEBUT OF Australia's Got Talent raised eyebrows across the country last night as many where left wondering if the show did intended to showcase niche skill and expertise. That was until this morning, when the show's producers released a statement that this year, the show will feature more light entertainment and...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A reporter for the "House Of Pop Cult" news and media organisation, Pedestrian.tv, has had her employment terminated during a group WIP meeting this morning, on the grounds that her idea of news was not in line with the company's advertising portfolio. Kate Winters, an aspiring news journalist who dreams of one day working for the ABC, says she was...

  IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | CONTACT The South Betoota Australian Rules social grade footballers were not met with a press conference this morning, despite the fact they have spent the last 48 hours making Mitchell Pearce look like a "fuckin' schoolboy". We spoke to the most lively member of the team's three-day bender, co-captain Jack Cort, who says he didn't think Friday's pre-season trial match would have...

28 January, 2016 15:45 IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | CONTACT Sydney Roosters and NSW Origin halfback, Mitchell Pearce has made headlines today after he received a suspension and a hefty fine for simulating a sexual act on a female partygoers dog, while on a bender. In a video released by several predatory news outlets, including ours, last night - the third-generation rugby league superstar appears...

28 January, 2016 13:05 IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | CONTACT It is believed that former Canberra Raiders centre, Joel Monaghan has laughed off suggestions that the currently disgraced NSW and Sydney Roosters halfback, Mitchell Pearce has "joined the club". Close friends have spoken up this morning and informed the Betoota Advocate that Joel Monaghan was actually quite disappointed when he viewed the footage of the disgraced...

27 January, 2016 14:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As loyal monarchist, Jane Wu says her biggest concern about the possibility of Australia becoming an independent republic is the fact the Queen Elizabeth II might stop visiting our nation every 5-10 years. "It's a worry, if we remove her as our head of state, we'll lose the holiday as well as the flag. But...

It’s another sunny Australia Day in this great southern land, and what better way to forget about our country’s dark history of whitewashing and brutality than with a list of the most nostalgia tingling ABC shows from the 1990s. Who cares about the Stolen Generation and our nation's revisionist take on what happened after whites claimed this land as their...