Headlines

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact In a last minute scramble to get in some summer holiday action, local family The Wainwrights, have packed up the car and set down the coast with a crudely drawn homemade number plate sticky taped to the bike rack, that was deemed ‘good enough’ by dad. “It was my job to get everyone in the...

TRACEY BENDINGER| Family | CONTACT A local dad has last night braced himself for the worst. A phone call at 9:35pm to Peter Scholls (65) landline had Pete and his family convinced somebody had died. Despite the unorthodox hour of the call, it turns out it was just a regular phone call. A relief to the family, however, the silver lining was...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After being criticised for their inability to consider and engage with the diverse and cross-cultural Australian audiences, the Australian public broadcaster has today declared their intention to ramp up the amount of content dedicated to white, left-leaning, mostly Melbourne based men cracking wisecracks behind a desk. "We understand we might be missing a few marks with our white female...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Up to 16 NewsCorp employees are facing the axe today, as the National Rugby League continues it's record-breaking six month streak without a salary cap, betting, domestic or cocaine-related scandal. The lack of gee'd up sports journalism has seen a rapid decline in newspaper circulations throughout rugby league heartlands, as punters in New South Wales no longer feel the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An early-40s Peter Pan has been humbled today by a thick stream of back-to-school photos in his Facebook newsfeed. As the ghosts of girlfriends past re-enter his life in jpeg images that show them walking to school with their adorable young kids, Ben Whiston wonders if all of those trips to South America were worth it. Ben says he's been...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The publican of the Havastink Hotel in Barcaldine's light industrial wetlands says there's a lot of memorabilia on the walls that probably needs to be taken down. Jock Evette (66) says he could probably afford to lose the arguably racist Rodney Rude posters... as well as the photo from when that coward Peter Garrett came in and had a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A twenty-something that could easily be shortlisted to the top ranks of the Coalition in the next fifteen years says he only joined the Young Liberal party because he wanted to see Australia remain as fair and prosperous as he remembers it as a boy. Hugo Griffin-Knightley (24) says his typical Australian upbringing  – which saw him attending several...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact With councils and state governments pouring cash into shortlived sporting infrastructure ahead of the three month count down to the XXVI Commonwealth games on the Gold Coast, residents say they are not looking forward to their city's traffic congestion problems being on display for the world. This comes as the Games organisers are already encouraging people to "take advantage...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact North Korean media has today reported an incredible upset in the Australian Open men's final last night. Kim Jong-un, the leader of North Korea took the match out against tennis great Roger Federer in a convincing fashion to claim his 10th consecutive Australian open title in as many years. It was the shortest final in Australian Open history as the...

One local surfer, Felix Ettelson (26), has today made the grave mistake of driving his mother’s Lexus from his 4-bedroom house to Betoota’s state of the art, man-made wave dam. A seemingly innocuous act to the non-surfing community, however, to those in the know, it is a double faux pas that’s considered nearly as bad as being a body-boarder. Not only...