Headlines

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT John Mills, former student from the School of Hard Knocks, has bombarded his Facebook page with a slew of share-if-you-agree posts. The father of three had been quiet on social media for the past month but has since made up for it by posting ten times a day. This comes after a particularly bad run in with a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Morrison has surprised the electorate this morning, by taking the time to address the worries of people that don't look like they vote for him. As day-four of the Extinction Rebellion protests continue to shut down the top-end of town, Morrison has revealed that he has ordered his advisors to consult with experts regarding government policy that...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT "I can re-educate these people for you" said Peter Dutton, in his awkward high-school-soccer-captain-at-assembly voice. "Just give me the old RAAF base at Ipswich and I'll set up a camp" The Minister For Home Affiars begins whispering in an effort to hide his excitement. "Just say the word, wolf" "I'll bring this pack into line" "Just say the word, my captain" "Please say the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia is starting to think it must be a bit warm in Brisbane, as activists continue to relentless protest inaction on climate change in the CBD streets. This comes nearly a full month after millions of people, led by Swedish youth activist Greta Thunberg and students from Sydney to Delhi and Melbourne to London and New York, are today...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local film connoisseur has today made the mistake of enjoying 'The Joker' - after convincing herself it was a foreign film. This comes after the opening weekend of a new movie exploring the origins of DC comic book villain The Joker, which has left many critics divided. However, according to 24-year-old film student Candice Brontè, there is a 'big...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Reality TV watchers across the nation were characteristically shocked as new reality show The Masked Singer dropped it's most economically-conservative twist yet.  After what was clearly a heartfelt rendition of "I'm sorry I can't be perfect" by Canadian noughties punk-pop band Simple Plan, contestant 'The Penfolds' was decided by the audience to be the one to publicly unmask or...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local data analyst, Corey Letterman (31) is today starting to question whether he really needed to stay at the pub between Whittaker vs Style Bender at 2:45PM and the NRL Grand Final at 7:45PM. When you throw in the fact that he was at the pub on Saturday watching the Wallabies beat Uruguay as well, then it's not hard...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Wallabies fullback Kurtley Beale says he was initially “spooked” by a rogue prawn in Japan's Kyushu Island last night. The Wallaby has reportedly been experiencing a crook gut after being served a suspiciously pale and crusty prawn tempura at Oita Stadium last night. The incident is quite reminiscent of the 1995 World Cup in South Africa, where All Blacks players...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It's Grand Final Day for the 2019 NRL competition. Hours from now we will be treated to the showdown between the Sydney Roosters, gunning for back-to-back premiership titles against the underdog Canberra Raiders at ANZ Stadium. The curtains will be raised this afternoon with the Newtown Jets taking on the Burleigh Bears in the State Championship, before the Broncos...

The Betoota comedy scene is on high alert after a recent incident during a home-reno job in Betoota Heights. It is alleged that freelance chippy turned comedy tour de force, Leo Tognellini (55), redefined humour while working on-site with his brother but technically nephew Henry (29). “Oi Hen! Hen! Check this shit out!” exclaimed Tognellini while holding a power drill in...