Desperate PM Ramps Up National Security Rhetoric By Calling Wallabies Coach A Kiwi Sleeper Cell
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
To the dismay of middle and upper-class dads around the nation, sports and politics have once again been mixed up today.
This comes with Prime Minister Scott Morrison essentially pouring a bit of red bull into some milk, and calling the nation's rugby coach a Kiwi sleeper cell.
The strong accusation comes after a bit few days of...
China Admit The South Sydney Houso Flats Wasn’t The Best Place To Plant A Secret Political Agent
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The Chinese Communist Party have today released a statement in which they admit to making the wrong decision by planting their sleeper cell Anthony Albanese MP in the housing commission flats of Sydney's Camperdown.
With the 2022 Federal Election yet to be even called, the Morrison Government is already playing a dirtier game than anyone expected.
Faced with unflattering...
“Only We Can Protect Australia From China” Says Government Who Can’t Even Protect Female Staff From Workplace Harassment
WE ARE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS THOUGH: Former PM Malcolm Turnbull has lashed out at his old colleagues for their desperate attempts to terrify voters about an imminent war with China, warning that such “reckless” comments had “no basis in fact” and harmed our national security.
Peter Dutton said on Friday there was “no doubt in his mind” that China want...
Two Years Of Marketing Focus Groups Determine That It Was All Jenny’s Fault They Went To Hawaii
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After two whole years of intensive focus groups and market research aimed at softening the public image of Scotty From Marketing, it seems the pre-election strategy of 2022 has been to blame the Prime Minister's wife for every mistake he has ever made.
What was supposed to be a light-hearted 60 Minutes puff piece aimed at winning back...
“Bro. It’s All Good. We Got You” Says Channel 9 Chairman And Former Liberal Treasurer Peter Costello
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As the entire Federal Cabinet implodes due to Morrison's relentless bridge-burning and factional disputes, even the Government's most historically reliable ally NewsCorp have gone quiet.
This may be due to the fact that Scott Morrison, when backed into a corner over the issue of women's safety in Parliament House, decided to fire shots directly at NewsCorp during...
PM Asks His Advisors If The National Press Club Is Government Funded, And If So, Let’s Review That
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After a fortnight of leaked text messages and an unprecedented grilling from the same media outlets that got him elected in 2019, Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has today deduced that his biggest hurdle to re-election is the National Press Club in Canberra.
The National Press Club is an association of news journalists, academics, business people from both...
Pauline Whips Out The Burqa Again After Embarrassing Encounter With Wasp Nest
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In a story that would have dominated the newscycle in simpler times, One Nation founder and leader Pauline Hanson was stung multiple times by wasps while gardening in her backyard earlier this week.
While presumably pruning all the colourful flowers while leaving the white ones, the Queensland senator was stung multiple times by the swarm of wasps leaving her...
Central QLD Man Hospitalised After Accusing Local Labor Candidate Of Being In Bed With The Greens
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
There have been reports of a rather noisy Quiet Australian being hospitalised in Central Queensland this afternoon, after gatecrashing a regional Labor branch meeting to relay Sky News talking points in front of the recently selected local candidate.
Complete with his salmon Calvin Klein polo, local property investor Huxley Hector-Darby (55), was last seen leaving a local country...
Scotty Announces New Cash Bonus For Aged Care Workers That Increases Every Time One Of Them Dies
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactWith the election just around the corner, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has decided to put on his marketing hat once again today to come up with a new campaign that can benefit both his public image and aged care workers - and also his insatiable thirst for violence.
After watching just one episode of Squid...
Facebook Hits Scotty With Targeted Ads For Waikiki Beach As Bushfire Warnings Appear In Newsfeed
EFFIE BATEMAN | LIFESTYLE | CONTACT
In breaking news that nobody except 99% of the world’s scientists could have predicted, it appears as though the country is yet again on fire.Western Australia has been battling away against persistent and disastrous bushfires over the course of a month, while residents of both Tasmania's wild north-west and Victoria’s Grampians are being met with extremely urgent...
