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Sydney Pub Staff Not Sure When Queenslanders Plan On Leaving

5 October, 2015. 14:50 IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact Once a rugby league heartland, the gentrified inner-west of Sydney city is currently playing host to scores of Queenslanders who aren't too different to the district's original inhabitants. In town for last night's epic all-Queensland NRL Grand Final, between the North Queensland Cowboys and The Brisbane Broncos, the uncouth northern visitors don't seem to...

West Coast Eagles Fan Disgusted To Learn What A Top-Knot Is

4 October, 2015. 10:50 IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact The AFL's Grand Final is here and what a divide we have. The heavily-tattooed West Coast Eagles fans attempting to out-cheer the culturally elite Hawthorn Hawks fans. After driving across the Nullabor to Melbourne in one 42-hour-stint, Perth construction development officer, Adam Bond says he wishes he had spent more time staring into the sun...

Victorian Man Plans To Boo At Television During NRL Grand Final

4 October, 2015. 10:50 IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact In a jam-packed Grand Final weekend, the people from every state and sovereignty across this nation have vested interests in some sort of football match. Whether its the South and West of the country tuning in to watch the Saturday night's AFL Grand Final between the Hawthorn Hawks and West Coast Eagles - Or whether...

The NRL Celebrates All-Queensland Grand Final With New Trophy

29 September, 2015. 10:50 IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact The National Rugby League has today unveiled the "new and improved" Provan-Summons Trophy, to be awarded to one of the two Queensland-based teams in Sunday night's grand final showdown. With the Brisbane Bronco's comfortable defeat over the Sydney Roosters on Friday night, The North Queensland Cowboys then confirmed an all-Queensland NRL decider after defeating Melbourne...

Melbourne’s Public Transport System Rated One Of The Best In Victoria

28 September, 2015. 11:00 EGBERT ADRIANSON| Melbourne| Contact Visitors arriving in Melbourne are amazed by how efficient the public transport system is, with the Victorian capital being praised by the Economist Intelligence Unit for having "The best public transport system in Victoria, and other parts of the world". "The trains in Japan are way too fast," said one businessman from Tokyo, a city...

Scat boy regrets everything that’s ever happened

27 September, 2015. 09:35 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact AFTER DUMPING HIS third cap of the evening, Miles Panache says he wasn't sure if that was the right decision. While onlookers looked on, Miles and his co-drug-affected friends formed a huddle in the makeshift dancefloor of their mutual friends living room. As their skulls met side by side in the...

Local Man Googles “Rugby Union News” After Reading Entire Daily Telegraph

24 September, 2015. 12:50 IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact Thomas Hadden, 27, says he is shocked and appalled that he has been forced to google the keywords "Rugby, Union, News" after reading the most circulated newspaper in Australia. Despite the fact that the Wallabies have just played their first match of the olympiad international Rugby Union World Cup, Mr Hadden was forced to...

Prime Minister Turnbull is flawless, says Eastern Suburbs artist

22 September, 2015. 16:10 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact The newly sworn-in Prime Minister of Australia, Malcolm Turnbull, has today appeared as the subject of a "guerrilla art" instalment that hangs from the roof of a historic hotel in his hometown electorate. In the style of Obama's iconic image of  "hope" made famous during the 2008 Obama campaign, Mr Turnbull stands as tall...

Nick Cave Begs Senator Brandis To Slash Funding To The Betoota Advocate

18 September, 2015. 16:10 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Not even an entire day after Australian musical icon Nick Cave wrote andopen letter to Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull asking him to sack Senator George Brandis as Minister for the Arts, and restore independent funding and oversight to the literary sector, The Betoota Advocate has been informed that our humble online newspaper is next on the chopping...

Grown Man Who Enjoys Rollerblading Gets Way More Action Than You

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Jerry Antoniou is a self-described "adrenaline junkie" who spends his afternoons taking part in high-speed rollerblading at local boardwalks. Jerry is 42-years-old and has been to three different Nickelback concerts in three different international cities. He owns thirteen different types of fedora hats and three variations of Crocs. "I don't know what it is, I've just...

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