IN-Focus

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The President of the Dolphins Leagues Club in Betoota Heights has lashed out and purchased a scrum machine which has brought much joy to people around town. Not because President Mitchell Curtis wanted to help his boys with their scrum work, he bought the machine just for a laugh. Traditionally, the rugby league scrum is much less intense than the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "Fuck!" she said sharply. "Fuck!" Lucy Taylor's handbag fell off the table and predictably lands upside down - in the middle of a French Quarter cafe. Her most private possessions, some she didn't even know she had, are now on public display for all to see. Everyday items like her comb, hairpins, cigarettes, makeup and an unregistered Glock...

KENT REGINALD | Office | CONTACT A local sales executive and current office foosball champion is convinced that his natural sales acumen and ability to write emails that are both friendly AND professional means he would absolutely crush it in any zombie apocalypse scenario, it is being reported. Michael ‘Dragon’ Draginski, a 27 year old Sales Exec at a Betoota IT firm who...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact He's told just about everyone so far but there's one person he hasn't told about his new health kick. In his own words, that person is himself. "I'm on a grog holiday," he said to nobody in particular. In the hours before an Origin showdown, he wasn't expecting much of a rise out of his thirsty coworkers - all eyeing off...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Outgoing Cricket Australia CEO James Sutherland announced his resignation earlier today, making the administrator the latest high-profile scalp to be claimed by the ball-tampering saga of last summer. Though he claims it has nothing to do with his decision, Sutherland told reporters today in the south that he feels it's a good time for him - and a good...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the seven bottlenose dolphins that calls the town's only saltwater bore drain home has telepathically spoken to The Advocate via drugs this afternoon about the new reusable plastic bags at local supermarkets and what they might taste like. The Betoota Heights Woolworths is due to dump single-use plastic bags later this month in an...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Grace Sherlock toyed with the idea of walking around the block a few times but ultimately decided to press pause and put her feet up. Walking home this afternoon with the warm Simpson Desert sunshine on her shoulders, the content of her podcast was anything but. She spoke to The Advocate a short time ago via mobile telephone. "It's about this...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Though there's absolutely no way any of what he's saying actually happened, that didn't perturb a young drinker from plough on through his yarn as it dipped, ducked and dived between mundane reality and pure imagination. Speaking candidly to a small group of friends last Saturday night in the designated smoking area of the Betoota Dolphins Club, Peter Coolie...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact What he posted can't be repeated - but it prompted a visit from two detectives and a month-long ban from Facebook. Around 6pm last night, two junior Queensland police detectives from a Diamantina Area Command paid a visit to Darren Goldman's Betoota Heights Californian bungalow to speak to him about a very spicy meme he posted about the upcoming...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact To say the scene was confronting is an understatement - that's according to Capt. Damien Rustle from the Betoota Hills Fire Authority. From shocking car wrecks to fires that burned a million wild acres of nothing, Captain Rustle has seen all that a man of his ilk could ever see. "But that milk. Man, it really...