The United States has finally bitten the bullet today, after a prolonged period of edging.

The US Military has declared all systems go and decided to invade a Middle Eastern country, after a shocking revelation came out.

That news, was the confirmation that members of a rural village were spotted examining their broken water well.

“It’s time,” said a spokesperson for the US Military Industrial Complex, who have been toying with the idea of invading one of those pesky Middle Eastern and South Asian countries for a few months now.

“While it technically an oil well, we are at such a heightened state that we need to secure the country.”

“And we can just tell the media we thought it was oil, or weapons, or whatever really. We can work that out later. It’s go time.”

“This people need to remember that we are the boss, and we can invade their shithole countries in a heart beat.”

“They should have learnt from all those rockets we’ve been firing into Syria and Iraq after three of our troops were killed serving in a country they shouldn’t have been in.”

“We are back in business, and our defence industry is ready to print trillions more dollars.”

It’s unknown how long the occupation of the new country will last, but will likely add to the decades of US de-stablisation that impoverishes the people and radicalises a generation of young men.

More to come.


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