Former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has this evening dished up an eviscerating verbal lambasting for the millennia.

Turnbull dealt the smackdown while talking to the ABC as part of the Nemesis program, which aims to illustrate the sheer lack of work any of our politicians do because they treat their jobs like a game and are constantly bickering and fighting with each other.

Featuring as the focal point of the second episode, the man who is endlessly trying to prove he’s the smartest in every single room he goes into, gave a mellifluous and graceful explanation of the way he views politics.

“You see, I’m not trying to be sesquipedalian here, but one must understand the imperative nature of understanding with certitude the internal musings of the average Australian,” said Turnbull.*

“And I think that I am rather perspicacious in that regard, as a man who deeply understands the machinations of a blue collar Australian’s mind.”

“I’ve always said, and I think it should be the basis for every politician’s thought process, floccinaucinihilipilification of the average Australian’s philosophical outlook will spell the demise for any politician.”

Turnbull then paused, to see if the questioner was even remotely following what he was saying.

“That is where Tony (*tilts head back and looks down his nose) ran aground. He sought the obfuscation and discombobulation of the Australian psyche, in a desire to reduce it to one patriotic, thoughtless, regressive mass.”

“I simply could not stand for it.”

“So that’s why I explicated to the party that we have to move forward, and we need to put that prehistoric petrified impression behind us.”

“And I think we did that.”

*The Advocate has reduced the extra letters put into the spoken words of Malclom’s enunciation, in an effort to achieve some semblance of clarity.


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