WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

A day after sacking 10% of its workforce, Telstra has kept the hits coming with a big news reveal today.

The nation’s most loved and respected telecommunications provider has revealed that those sacked workers will actually improve the company moving forward.

“We’ve hired 10 absolute superstar call centre operators in Manilla to pick up the slack of the nearly 3000 workers sacked,” said CEO Vicki Brady.

“So on top of improving our budget bottom line significantly, it will also improve the service offered to our customers,” explained the CEO who rakes in over $5 million a year.

“All of the things we are doing wrong, will be ironed out by this elite new team of operators that we are paying a pittance.”

The telco that used to be owned by the government, aka the tax payer, aka us, has undergone years of rolling scandals for appalling service, poor treatment of customers and life threatening outages that affect our emergency services.

Despite seemingly being run very poorly by the ‘free market,’ Vicki Brady and Co have promised that this latest batch of cuts will improve Telstra’s ability to offer a first class service.

The cuts also come despite the company managing to rake in a $1.1 billion half year profit at the back end of last year, and is projected to make a multi billion dollar profit for this full financial year.

However, despite seemingly being very profitable and not very efficient, Brady says cutting thousands of roles is necessary.

“It should hopefully bump my bonus up another few million as well,” laughed Brady.

“Myself and the other executives do feel really bad for those 2800 people and their families, but unfortunately that’s what happens when you are at the bottom of the food chain.”

More to come.


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