A hard-working and valued group of Australian women have been recognised today, both for their valiant service and the fact they’re about to get a lot less attention for most of the year.

In a formal service attended by Treasurer Jim Chalmers and catered by Heinrich’s Hotdog Hut, the noble women who have been dating a footy fanatic for the last six months were thanked for their service and presented with a $40 voucher for the Body Shop or something.

While a good deal of the medal recipients were already mentally spending their voucher, patriot Lily Lyle (26) demanded an explanation for her sincere veneration and was informed her weekends are about to look a lot different, especially as her boyfriend Tom actually thinks Manly is a chance this year.

“The other week, Lily and I went into Chinatown and celebrated the year of the dragon,” stated Tom, nursing his red hands that he and the other boyfriends clapped raw during the four hour service.

“And this week, we head to the brewery that illegally shows Kayo and we celebrate the year of Luke Brooks.”

“Seriously, this is what we’ve all been waiting for, you’re not going to believe a man can do the things he’s brewing in Brookie.”

Understanding about 30% of what was said, Lyle nursed her medal, voucher and perspex trophy she received especially after taking out Best Pie Shop Date, and wondered if she could continue in a relationship with a bloke who listens to podcasts about which 20 something is the best at kicking a ball.

“Uuuh, Queensland I guess,” stated Lyle after being asked what team she goes for.

“To be honest, I grew up in an AFL house.”


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