WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

The overwhelming majority of the nation is today breathing a collective sigh of relief.

That huge exhalation comes off the back of the Prime Minister, the Opposition Leader and the media class of Australia agreeing that foreign investment is to blame for our housing crisis.

The media and political class have weirdly come to an agreement on the issue, that overseas investors snapping up a grand total of 1300ish properties a year, is what’s causing a crippling housing crisis that is seeing millions of Australians unable to live in basic dignity.

“Unfortunately, it’s just overseas investors, aka people from a certain country if you know what I mean, forcing AUSTRALIANS onto the street,” said Opposition Leader Peter Dutton today.

The man who owns a huge property investment portfolio and is estimated to be worth 100s of millions of dollars explained that things like negative gearing and tax concessions for property investors have nothing to do with the current crisis.

“Those things are for mum and dad investors, everyday Australians, like the 2.2 million Australians that that own investment properties.”

“Particularly the 1.6 million who own two or more investment properties.”

Prime Minister and current investment property vendor Anthony Albanese has roundly agreed with Dutton’s calls, echoing the sentiments of the nation’s property owning political class.

“Unfortunately those 1000 or so foreign investors are what has pushed the rates of property up at well over the double the rates of wage growth for the last few decades.”

“We also need more houses,” said Albanese, the Prime Minister of a country that has a million vacant homes right now – a result of the fact investors can do things like make stupid amounts of money off lowly taxed capital gains on properties.

“And we need negative gearing so investors can get the tax payer to pay for their investment costs, so they can provide over inflated rentals to poor Australians and drive the price of houses up.”

“So because it benefits us and people like us, unfortunately we just have to solve the housing crisis by blaming foreign investment and immigration.”

More to come


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here