Life is full of uncertainties, such as the possibility that at the next event or get together you might get stuck talking to a film student who will yak on to you about some obscure movie that is allegedly ‘essential viewing’.

One thing that is certain however is that the movie they recommend to you will be unaccountably French and either in black and white or with those yellow subtitles.

Thankfully, official government rules of conduct have announced that in such a situation it is perfectly acceptable to just ignore the film student and pretend you are watching Harry Potter or Goodfellas.

Local film school student survivor Francois Galdot states that her unmistakably French sounding name acts as a sort of bug light to film students who recommend her French films that range from boring to traumatising.

“My name is very similar to the lead actor in a film where an old couple stays young by taking one bite out of their prisoners every day,” stated Galdot who has watched exactly zero of the films she has been recommended. 

“The guy who told me about it said I need to watch it on a special streaming service where all the sexual assault scenes are showed as intended and at that point I just started ignoring him. It was great! I think I want to start doing it more often not just when I get a recommendation for an obscure film I’m never going to watch.”

The Advocate reached out to the film student for comment but were simply told they were not aware that Les Petites Bouchées (1999) was an obscure film.

“Ooooh, I get it…you don’t watch cinema.”


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