RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact

The sweet scent of lavender has this morning wafted across the nostrils of primary school teacher, Lauren Goss (33), as she replaced the bin bags in her kitchen.

The sweet scent comes after Goss and her white collar boyfriend, Patrick Clompers (34), made the happy realisation that being a two-income household is pretty fucking awesome.

Despite the increasing financial pressures of inflation, the pair seem to find themselves with a decent chunk of disposable income at the end of each pay cycle.

“Paddy gets paid one week and then me the next,” Goss explained to the Advocate while fixing the lilac-coloured, lavender-scented garbage bag to the kitchen bin. She tied a knot on one side which fixed it into position.

Paddy eyed off the bin bag lovingly. He added that “even with everything being super expensive these days we’re still able to afford life’s little luxuries.”

Goss pushed the palms of her hands under her nose and inhaled deeply. “Ahh, Lavender is so relaxing.” She offered her hands to Paddy who grabbed them in his own and took a fulsome whiff. Not wanting to be rude to her guest, Goss offered her hands to our reporter who, being a guest in a stranger’s house, felt obliged to take up the offer.


The Advocate can confirm mere words cannot do justice to the majestic scent experienced in that sniff. The human brain is incapable of understanding just how far science has progressed when it allows us to instil the luscious scent of lavender into the plastic lining of a humble garbage bag. 

“It seriously smells like lavender doesn’t it?!” Goss giggled, taking another whiff.

While the emerging affluent young couple admit they are doing pretty well for themselves with their stable, reasonably well-paying jobs, they’re certainly not taking anything for granted and appear always at the ready to remember where they came from.

“Before I started teaching we were buying the cheapest garbage bags on the shelf,” Goss admitted. She took her husband by the hand. “Never in our wildest dreams did we think we’d get to a point financially that we’d be buying the lavender-scented ones.” They both shook their heads in disbelief. 


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