ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Reserve Bank Governor Philip Lowe has conceded this afternoon that he’s put himself in quite the pickle after repeatedly putting interest rate rises on hold to appease the Federal Government.

It’s all about to come to a head, he fears, as inflation figures released today paint a picture that speaks a thousand words with regard to partisan economic policy.

“Christ alive,” Mr Lowe told our reporter via telephone a short time ago.

“I’ve really gone and shit the bed this time, haven’t I? I’m totally fucked. I’m fucking fucked.”

Governor Lowe is referring to the now-unavoidable rate rise coming in May, in the middle of an election campaign, which is something the RBA traditionally avoids.

“I don’t have a choice now. I have to raise the interest rates because this economy is white-hot. But if I do, the government will be filthy with me and probably white ant my career for the rest of my life. Oh man,”

“This is worse than the time I put a tank of E10 in my old Jaguar XJ12. That’s what the economy is like now. A finely-tuned V12 engine that’s just been given a gutful of Brazillian sugar juice. It’s sputtering and backfiring. We just need to get it to June and we’re good.”

Describing the situation he’s now found himself in, Mr Lowe said he wasn’t looking for sympathy or even mercy. He’s looking for a little bit of understanding.

“I did the Australian thing,” he said.

“I just pretended it wasn’t a problem until it became a massive fuck up that’s going to either destroy a government or destroy the bottom lines of honest Australians. I mean, it’s not much of a noodle scratcher but man, this whole episode is causing me some internal turmoil,”

“Like yesterday, I went down to Bonnie Doon to work on my baby draws and I sliced everything onto the 3rd fairway at Eastlake. I’m a wreck.”

More to come.

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