ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Labor is rushing to have their landmark IR reforms through Federal Parliament before the Christmas Break and all that’s standing in their way of achieving that is independent senator for the ACT David Pocock.

A Labor staffer spoke to The Advocate today about what’s going on inside the tent and how realistic it is to expect people to just vote for things without knowing what they are.

“Senator Pocock is still learning the ropes,” they said.

“You can’t read every piece of legislation that comes over your desk. There’s not enough hours in a day. You get your staff to do that, I’m not sure how many David has but he should have hired a few little freaks to read the new laws for him,”

“If he doesn’t let us know which way he’s voting by Christmas, that’ll really put the poo in Albo’s swimming pool over summer. Sure, it might be classic Labor to throw business and their lowest paid workers under the bus to help the majority but we’re better than the other mob at the end of the day.”

The staffer’s sentiments were echoed by Prime Minister Anthony Albanese this afternoon during his weekly phone call with The Advocate’s editorial team.

“Christ on a pogostick,” said the Prime Minister.

“He’s not even skimming it, he full-on reading it like it’s an exam question. Fucken Wyatt Roy will be in aged care by the time we pass this thing. He wants concessions for Teslas and cardigans for penguins, I don’t care. I’ll give him neckties for dolphins if he wants, he just needs to pass it. Mate, I’d even ban staffies and rottweilers from being bred here. I’m not sure if he’s into that type of thing but certainly where I’m from, I can hardly take Toto for a walk down the 17th and Royal Marrickville without some cashed-up-Killara-born-blue-haired-yuppie-fuck and their fucken mutt staffie mix killing machine come after us,”

“Back to what I was saying. If we’re still picking my IR policy to bits over summer, I’ll be fucken cross!”

The Advocate reached out to Senator Pocock’s office for comment but were told by his answering machine that he’s doing a recreational beep test while he reads the IR legislation on his iPad.

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here