ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Despite local rents being at an all-time high and leasing agents replacing bankers as the first ones against the wall when society collapses, a Betoota Heights couple has celebrated finally getting a lease this week against the odds after nearly a month of living in a serviced apartment.

“We’re the lucky ones,” say Laney and Corn Taylor.

“We had a good rental history and glowing references but still, every place we went to see in Betoota had dozens of people there ready to inspect. People were even offering overs to the leasing agent, something he looked like he was enjoying.”

Corn shook his head.

“Our last lease ended and the landlord wanted to bump the rent up by almost a third. Sure, we got a good deal during the spicy cough period but not by a factor of 30%. Anyway, once the landlord and her leasing agent got wind we didn’t want to pay, they ghosted us until the notice period,” he said.

“It just makes you want to search the title deed to the place we’re living in. It only costs $18. Use that to see where the landlord lives then use that information how you want. Greed has a price.”

Laney slapped Corn on his shoulder.

“Shut up.”

Laney explained that the previous month of being rejected from leases and snookered by cashed up international students has taken a toll on them both.

However, now that they have a mouldy roof over their heads, Laney expects Corn’s fixation on poisoning their old landlord’s dog and entering the leasing offices of LJ Hooker South Betoota with a snub-nose .38 to right some wrongs will soon pass.

“Corn thinks it’s personal,” she said.

“It’s not. It’s just business.”

More to come.


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