KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

Betoota Stout is out and Seltzers are in at the South Betoota Bowls Club, as the old battered bowlo continues to lean into its recent dazzling renaissance.

Once a treasured watering hole for leather-skinned retirees and families that need a cheap function room for a wake, ‘Southies’ continues to emerge as one of the hottest places in town for millennials to ‘get on it’.

Popular among Betoota youths thanks to its cheap tap beers and lack of heavy-handed security, it’s believed the bowls club plans to welcome the surge of young drinkers with the introduction of a ‘$15 Seltzer Jug’ special.

Speaking with life-time member and Bowlo club secretary, Paul Galway (73), the decision to add Seltzers onto the taps highlights the club’s recent pivot to market itself to a younger audience.

“When that spicy cough hit we thought we were done for, all our regular clientele would be too afraid to come down to the bowlo and bend the arm,” said Mr Galway.

“But as soon as council said we could open back up fully, all the young ones have been turning up and putting thousands through our till!”

“They come in for midday, they’re blind by 5pm, then we kick them out and let the nightclubs in town handle them once they’re maggot, it’s genius!”

Asked about other potential changes to the club’s decor and ambience, it’s believed ‘Southies’ doesn’t need to do much more to appease its new hip crowd.

“Well we ask these kids if they want us to change the music, turns out they still wanna listen to ABBA and Horses’ by Daryl Braithwaite.”

“A few of them have been buying club polos and bucket hats, when I was 23 there’s no way I’d be getting about in something my grandpa would wear, but it’s the trend these days!”

“Only problem we’re having is all these kids like pocketing schooner glasses, but all their Dad’s used to do that too!”

“I guess some things never change…”

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