ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

One of the nation’s greatest financial minds has told anyone who’ll listen today that he’s cracked the code when it comes to punting on the real estate market.

“I’m buying when the bubble bursts, which will be soon,” said French Quarter city worker, James Chambre.

“When all those young people in Sydney and other capital cities are stretching their arseholes wider than a frisbee to pay their mortgage now at fuck all percent, it the rates go up, they’ll be fucked,”

“If the rates don’t go up then inflation will. Everything will become so expensive that they won’t be able to do anything except work, eat, sleep, pay mortgage repeat. You can shove that up your arse. Imagine spending the 80 years you have on this planet paying off some blond brick fuckhole in Manly Vale (in Sydney’s hellish north) that you bought hoping it’d be worth more than $1.5m one day,”

“No, I’m putting all my money into shares and cash and when this whole thing pops, cash will be king. But anyway, anyone who’s gotten in recently can just go back to where the deposit money came from. Mum and Dad’s place.”

The self-described young king was then asked by our reporter if he had enough for a deposit himself, to which he said he did.

“Yeah but I’m waiting until the market comes down. If you buy right now, you’re a deadset moron or have enough money that it doesn’t really matter in the scheme of things.”

More to come.

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