Office Man Prematurely Begins Blaming His Degenerate Behaviour On The Silly Season

Office Man Prematurely Begins Blaming His Degenerate Behaviour On The Silly Season

PETRA GAUDOUX | Summer Cadet | Contact

Despite only being halfway through the second financial quarter, an office person has begun blaming his out-of-character behaviour on it being the silly season.

Journalistically, the silly season is a period, usually during the summertime, when news media tend to place increased emphasis on reporting light-hearted, offbeat, or bizarre stories.

However, in recent times, that has grown to include a steady decline in sobriety and behaviour among the professional class.

Lewis Chadwick, who works in a local office with a computer and sometimes goes to local meetings, is one of those professionals who’s seemingly written 2017 off already.

“This is the best time of year,” he said.

“My agency has the best work culture. Everybody who works here is also friends and we do stuff outside of work like drink, go on river cruises and drink. Now we just drink in the office. I love working in public relations and advertising, I feel whole and my life, job and partner fulfil me,”

“Just relax, it’s the silly season. I was a vegetarian until last week, now I eat whatever the hell I want. I’d eat a whole roast koala if you put it in front of me. I might even drop acid one day. Who can stop me? Nobody! It’s the silly season.”

But if you speak to Lewis’ partner, Joanna Denison, she’d tell you that he’s jumped the gun once again.

Speaking candidly to The Advocate regarding her boyfriend’s recent behaviour, the popular midwife said he needs a reality check.

“He thinks I don’t even look at the transactions in the joint account,” she said.

“I look at the fucking transactions in the joint account. I ask him why he needed to withdraw $300 from a Betoota Heights service station ATM at 4am on a Thursday, he tells me it’s to pay his mates back for shouting dinner,”

“Where is he going for dinner? La Pisse Dans Ma Poche? I don’t care about the drugs, I care more about his lies and deceit. Fucking men, I tell you what. I fucking hate the silly season. Babies are born every day of the year, including Christmas! All his agency-cuck mates and him just spend summer getting pissed and high. It makes me so angry! Sorry, what were you saying?”

More to come.

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