ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Just in time for Christmas, esteemed Scottish-born celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has released a new cookbook aimed at building the confidence of those who are ‘still a bit intimidated’ by their kitchen, according to his publisher.

Fast Food For Fucking Donkeys, is slated to be released in coming weeks and Ramsey himself is set to head Down Under on his publicity tour.

Speaking candidly to The Advocate, the father-of-four explained that he was looking to simplify a number of his famous recipes so that they could be enjoyed quickly and easily than usual.

“Well mate, my publisher rang and said that lisping fuck Jamie Oliver was releasing a similar cookbook, like fucking 10-minute meals or some fucking shit like that,” he shouted.

“So they asked me if I could come up with something better and I said like fucking hell I can fucking do something better so I wrote this book for fucking donkeys that can’t fucking cook,”

“It’s an honest book. It’s like one of those flash birthday cards, innit? Like the ones that make noises and whatnot. Each time you turn the page of this cookbook, you’ll hear me call you a fucking donkey. It’s what I went through learning so it’ll work for you.”

One local domestic chef, Shelia Willmott, said she’s a fan of Ramsey’s recipes and looks forward to seeing what’s on offer this time around.

Willmott said she likes the way Gordon gets the job done and doesn’t piss in your pocket like Maggie Beer or Curtis Stone.

“If I end up with Matt Preston’s, who isn’t even a chef, cookbook, the person who gave it to me will be in my shit books,” she said.

“I love the way Gordon swears at people. It really gets me going. I had a professor at uni who looked quite dishevelled and he swore at us all the time and we all secretly wanted to jump him,”

“I’m a fucking donkey and I’m hungry.”

More to come.

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