The nation of Australia has confirmed today that it is refusing to join the United Kingdom on its spiral into a deep radical leftist state. 

This comes after Australia rejected an energy plan put forward by a mega-billionaire conservative politician who is the Prime Minister of the UK.

The UK system, which was designed by Rishi Sunak (the PM who famously brags about not having any working class friends) means that British citizens are enjoying subsidised power bills because of windfall taxes on oil and gas producers. 

Rather than just following the suit of our monarchist masters, Australia’s Prime Minister has rejected the idea of making gas and coal companies pay tax as compensation from making obscene profits from price gouging everyday Australians. 

Created by one of the richest men in the world, the UK currently has a windfall tax on oil and gas producers – which is a one-time charge placed on a sector that has generated significant profits from an event for which they have no responsibility (ie the war in Ukraine). 

However, rather than impose a tax on Australian based multinationals ripping people off, the government is set to introduce a price cap on coal and gas. 

The price cap is set to limit coal and gas prices – at a level much, much, much higher than before the war in Ukraine – and ensure that tax dodging companies like Santos are still making absurd profits. 

Greens Leader Adam Bandt has claimed that the new policy signals the beginning of the end for gas, which he points out is just as dirty and just as fossil fuely as coal – despite industry claims about about so called ‘renewable gas.’ 

While these companies will still be able to make stupid amounts of money (and much more than they were 12 months ago), gas companies are currently crying poor and claiming that the policy is the end of the world as we know it. 

“Our ability to make 10s of billions instead of hundreds of billions has just been ruined,” explained one anonymous Gas baron today. 

“Every day, we slide closer to becoming a communist dictatorship.” 

The bill is set to pass parliament today, with only Independent Senator David Pocock calling for a windfall tax. 

More to come. 


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