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The NSW government’s plan to address housing crisis by rezoning land around train stations has been accidentally revealed, causing deep upset amongst some of the most serious punters in greater Sydney.
According to the plan, Sydney’s inner-outer will gain up to two new metro stations and Rosehill racecourse could become the site for tens of thousands of homes, in news that isn’t that bad for anyone trying to find a home with adequate transport options in Australia’s largest city.
However, even with New South Wales in the vice-like grip of a catastrophic housing crisis, there are still enough people upset by this decision to protest in front of the State Parliament.
“Fucken bullshit” shouts prominent weekday punter, Jarren Glider (29).
“Get your arse out here Minns and face the music. I’m not getting a fucken light rail to Randwick you can blow it out ya arse”
Jarren is just one of many half-pissed veterans of Rosehill General Admission that have made their way into the city today to give the government a piece of their mind about their decision to sell off the one of Sydney’s most treasured race tracks.
As the crowd of flammable suits and white belts grows louder, NSW police riot have been deployed to hand out complimentary hair gell and crownies, in an effort to simmer tensions.
“Leave Rosehill alone fuck ya.” says Sheree Martini (45), a fellow protestor and trackside champagne bunny.
“Bulldoze those piss ant stadiums at Homebush instead. No one gives a fuck about the AFL anyway”
However, the protests may be in vain, as the NSW government has reportedly signed a memorandum of understanding with the Australian Turf Club (ATC) after being approached about turning the Rosehill Gardens Racecourse into up to 25,000 homes and a school, with an accompanying metro station. The type of infrastructural foresight not often seen in the Developer’s Picnic Garden known as Sydney.
The premier, Chris Minns, said the idea was a “once-in-a-generation opportunity” to deal with the state’s chronic housing crisis – and refuses to be bullied by the punters.
“How bout you come up with a plan then fuck youse?” said the Premier, addressing the crowd from Parliament’s steps.
“Look at you mugs. Not a decent fucken tip amongst the lot of ya”
“You can blow ya cash at Canterbury, or you can fucken scream at the TV at home. Either way, I don’t give a fuck. We are shovel ready and that turfs comin’ up”